KORN

[KooL]

Fuck reviews man, if you like it that's all that matters. KoRn are just no longer cool to like. Just like the Pumpkins aren't. Zeitgeist got awful reviews too and it's nowhere near as bad as it was made out to be.

[Thorngrub]

"Speaking of which, Davis needs some hooks. There are plenty of potentials here, but they’re buried beneath mirk and Reznor-worshipping chromatic warp riffs, or poorly timed delivery. Other Side’s “Twisted Transistor” had a biting, radio-ready catchiness to it. “Evolution” shouldn’t even be a single. It runs its course as a time-shifting, key-modulating junior commentary on global warming ("Why? Do I deserve to die? I’m dominated by/ This animal that’s locked up inside!"), a melody so sparse its atonal and as much charisma as a bedpost."

I've never encountered a band chockfull w/as many fucking hooks as Korn! Fuck ! "Plenty of potentials" ?? You got a potential to appreciate good down tuned, atonal primal fucking heavy ass music dude, but U need a little, I don't know, loosening up maybe ? Jesus... I rest my case by citing this guy actually having the nerve to suggest Twisted Transistor is a *better* song than Evolution ! wtf ?! I like both songs actually, but what I like about evolution better than TT is, well it's got a madass catchy hook to it (so did TT, but I found TT to be a tad more 'weighted' down in technogibberish), and the vocals are shot straight from the heart like he's barking at the moon! I'll tell you what, Jonathan may not be singing for YOU guy, but he sure as shit is singing for an X-amount of generations, and they're singin along w/him till their little hearts are about to burst, straight up.

And what's w/this "junior commentary" bullshit ? silly wabbit, Korn is for Kidz ! ! !! Goddamn... give korn credit for sending this message across to younger generations in a way they can understand for fuck's sake.

[Thorngrub]

I know, Kool. I have to make my points though . . . and I sure hope that reviewer isn't actually patten himself, but even if it is, he knows I still love him to death, and maybe MY pov here will shed some light on the matter. These points he's made I'm staunchly shooting down are simply not tolerable, because I find them to be so very far off the true mark.

*still reading dumb review*

[Thorngrub]

"As much charisma as a bedpost".... Hey Man ! Did U ever TRY fucking a bedpost ?? U MIGHT JUST LIKE IT ! >:[=

[Thorngrub]

"Untitled even bears some unwelcome similarities to Metallica’s St. Anger in that it beats an already-overused phrase into exasperation through rep-rep-repetion. They contrast “It’s starting over” with “Nothing much has changed”, which is kinda like Kid A-era Radiohead contrasting “This isn’t really happening” and “This is really happening” only, you know, Korn doesn’t have the artistic index to make the connection."

I said it once before and I'll say it again. The extremely talented gentlemen in KORn belong in the same artistic category as Bjork or Tom Waits, in my honest but oh so twisted opinion.

And it was this very album which actually led me to believe that...

[Thorngrub]

^ I mean, w/that bit o' criticism there, it's OBVIOUS this guy is really STRAINING for some AMMO w/which to fuel his clueless diatribe. It's like, dude, if you don't like it, don't review it hows about!

Ah well, I've never been one to appreciate negative reviews as much as I appreciate positive ones. If I were a reviewer, I'd just as soon let shit rot, and expound on the excellence of the stuff I found worthy. And to dispell any notions that I was being "exclusively positive", I'd probably feel compelled to create a list of artists/albums which I thought *sucked*, but mercifully refrained from bothering to review.

Because I don't think everything is great. I merely elect to speak of the great things; which makes it SEEM as if I think "everything" is great. . . Not the case at all. For instance... I hate . . . .


. . .


. . . . I hate . . .

... I HATE A LOTTA SHIT NOW LEAVE ME ALONE !

j/k.

I really do hate a lot of music. Just ain't got the time to get into it right now . . .

[Thorngrub]

*sigh again*

"Sure, Davis was diagnosed with idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura (ITP) last year, very nearly killing off one dreadlocked headbanger, and it’s all very well to translate your harrowing, near-death experiences into your writing… Except when introspection is expressed this banally, you wonder why you should care. “I’d rather be dead than carry on”, Davis moans in “Do What They Say”, an example of a line worthy of Korn’s depressed, nihilistic beginnings. But it’s roared listlessly over a thudding backdrop, destroying its potency. It’s misery for misery’s sake. "

I'll show U real misery man. I'll bet U've never known real misery once in your entire insulated life.

I have NEVER experienced such overpowering emotional resonance whilst listening to music as I have listening to Korn, and the song DO WHAT THEY SAY (quoted under my av there) features this chorus that is the MOST drop-tuned, creeped out slow-motioned refrain I've ever heard, and how it alternates w/the almost poppy "Aren't we cool and aren't we calm..." interpolated refrain is just, well it charmed my friggin socks off, m'k ?

As for the meaning behind that refrain "DO WHAT THEY SAY or they take it away", well dear reviewer, it ain't 'misery for misery's sake' it's straight up solid 24-carat gold genuine angst as felt by a human being whose blood rushing through his veins is a constant reminder that every fucking day we're alive on the planet may be our last. And may it be a good day for you, sir. Now please go pick on some other band you may have half a chance of understanding, please.

[Thorngrub]

* Bitch We Got A Problem is one of the best god damn song titles I ever heard, and I'm a poet, I should know. Step back jack

[Thorngrub]

"LAMELY" titled would be something like, "Bitch, It's Four O'clock In the Afternoon and its Time For Coffee" or "Bitch, We Got Us 2 Problems". Now, I'd like to know just wtf this reviewer thinks would be an excellent title --? "Ground Control We Have A Problem" because it genuflects for Bowie ? whatever

[Thorngrub]

[Thorngrub]

sb said:

Andrew Blackie writes for Popmatters. I'm pretty sure it's not patten.

ThoRns, you can find links to a bunch of reviews for the new KoRn album here. I'm warning you though, they're mostly negative.

So far every review that I've read except for RS and this one, have been extremely positive. But I thrive on slammin' the negative reviews, until the day arrives when one of these negative reviews ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE. As it turns out, I can easily shoot down EVERY last bit of thoughtless criticism futilely levelled korn's way (thus far).

[Thorngrub]

And FYI (all U 'grown ups' and this reviewer): It's already an established word on the street that See You On The Other Side is "Korn's St Anger", get w/the times old man...

[Thorngrub]

HUSHABYE is certainly one of my absolute favorite songs off untitled. For some lame ass utterly retarded reviewer to state it's "unforgiveable" is like looking me square in the eye and saying my mom is a whore. In the words of Forest Whitaker playing Idi Amin, "Yu have gRossly offended your fodder."

*stops for a moment of smoldering hatred*

First off, KORN IS NOT NU METAL, get this through your thick ape like skull, dude.
Understand the distinct differentiation between Korn being an entirely original band unlike any other band in history, and the 'craze' of nu-metal they spawned, which is essentially watered-down attempts by less talented bands trying to cop on the sound Korn dropped like a nuclear bomb into music in the autumn of 1994.

If it isn't already clear by now to ANY reviewer of korn's music that THERE IS NO GENRE THEY BELONG TO; rather, the only term acceptable to TRY and pigeonhole them would be THEIR NAME ("Korn"), then they honestly should NOT be paid to write reviews *UNLESS* the covert agenda of the news is the specific sowing of the seeds of negativity, self-doubt and perpetuated misery of fearing and hating that which we don't understand.

[Thorngrub]

FUCK ALL THAT BULLSHIT!!!!

[Thorngrub]

"It sounds like korn has lost the will to live" I READ YOUR LITTLE REVIEW & HA HA HA . . .

U need a clue dude .. . & U need it right up the korn hole.

It took me some time to adjust to the bonafide Beatles influence found on Kiss. At first, i wasn't too comfortable w/ it. Then upon repeat listenings, I was moved, and impressed. It's a beautiful song . . . hell, the whole damn album is beautiful and heartfelt, certainly possessed of Jon's sharpest lyrics imo. When he sings, on evolution, "I'm betting that the species will survive / hold tight I'm getting inside you", it skewers through so perfectly, like pinning a butterfly to the wall, such a delicate, wry sensibility that it comes across both darkly sardonic and hopeful at the same time, quite the lyrical feat if you ask me, and packed w/deeper meanings.

Oh yeah, I forgot: reviewers like this chap aren't paid to think. Or feel. They're just paid to address these "issues" w/posh name-referencing so they sound all "in the know" [oooooh, did you read how he cited radiohead w/such worldly know how? And w/metallica's st anger no less, in the same sentence: for this transgression the man should be taken out back and shot... <sup>*



*</sup> shot : in this sense, I am using the word "shot" to mean "fired from his job" ;b