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Post by samplestiltskin on Sept 11, 2006 12:39:02 GMT -5
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Post by wayved on Sept 11, 2006 23:32:27 GMT -5
Damn samples. I think most human behaviour is retarded. Then again Im in a black ass mood today.
I am a fan of handshaking. Its what I do when I find I cannot have a conversation with someone cos they piss me off so bad OR I just have no words. Cross my eyes when I do it. Im a pretty shy motherfucker in real life. Quiet. At least thats what I have been told..."Why are you so quiet today?" WHAT DO YOU MEAN TODAY? I just dont like to talk. Im a pretty silent guy. People think im an asshole for it. all i can say is "well if you really knew what was on my mind!" just kidding!
On the flipside--i shake hands with friends that I know will kick my ass if I give them a hug or some bullshit--i dont want to sound like a drama queen--but I saw my friend who is going through his chemotherapy for colon cancer --fuck man. I cant give him a fucking hug. So i nearly broke his fucking hand. Hes my friend and I hate to see him in this shape. I should have just beat the ever living shit out of him. Thats the caveman way of doing things....but thats retarded.
As far as "I will meet you in the water closet" is concerned, nowadays its just a yank, usually by the woman to the collar of the prey. I have been there. Last time I went to a club ( and Im no prize) I just wanted to dance in a corner quietly. heysuess! I was called a bitch cos I didnt want to do the grind and left the dance floor! "Whats wrong with me" she said...so then I had to spend some time explaining it all...Just leave me alone!
Handshakes are OK. People wash your fucking hands.
i do not give high fives or any hand jive cos im just not skilled like that. I would rather do the backspin and say "this ones for you man--its awesome to see you" but usually the environment does not permit.
they would freak out--
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Post by sisyphus on Sept 11, 2006 23:58:47 GMT -5
wayved you crack me up. i'm glad you and your black ass mood are alive and kicking on the planet.
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Post by luke on Sept 12, 2006 9:11:31 GMT -5
My standard response to this is that they need not worry about shaking my hand: I always wash my cock. It's like the old navy/marines joke. Guy from the navy goes into the bathroom, takes a piss, washes his hands. Marine in the urinal next to him takes a piss, walks right by the sink. Guy in the navy goes, "In the Navy, they teach us to wash our hands after we pee." Marine responds, "In the Marines, they teach us not to piss on our hands." |
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Post by luke on Sept 12, 2006 9:15:51 GMT -5
I love handshakes. Tell you all you everything you need to know about someone, right there up front. What kind of work they do, what kind of personality they have, if they could kick your ass or not, what mood they're in, what they think about you, their manners - it's all in that grip.
You could waste hours trying to figure all that out.
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Post by tuneschick on Sept 12, 2006 10:06:04 GMT -5
I do not particularly enjoy the handshake, though I do it a lot, ouf of necessity. I work in a big handshaking environment. I agree, though, that you can tell a lot about someone by the way they shake your hand.
Even more than the weak-and-flimsy shakers, I really hate those guys who grab hard and pump your hand up and down like a dozen times. It screams 'I am trying way to hard to be more important than you, even though I'm really better suited as a used car salesman.' I never have good experiences with the too-long shakers.
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Post by luke on Sept 12, 2006 10:37:02 GMT -5
Yeah, the car salesman shake always lets you know to be on the lookout.
Hand shakes are like a view straight into a person's soul.
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Post by phil on Sept 12, 2006 11:01:10 GMT -5
As long as you look straight into the shaker's hand ... !!
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Post by samplestiltskin on Sept 12, 2006 11:16:27 GMT -5
I am actually extremely uncomfortable with shaking hands. I just grew up equating physical contact with violation, so I don't like strangers touching me, it is very uncomfortable. My handshake is as brief as possible, I focus much more on eye contact.
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Post by maarts on Sept 13, 2006 4:48:45 GMT -5
Wow. I actually learn a lot about people in the way they shake my hand. A nice, short firm handshake are the best ones, that's what I usually try to give myself.
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Post by Fuzznuts on Sept 13, 2006 6:26:52 GMT -5
Unless you try to let go at the appropriate moment and they're still pumping away. Awkward.
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Post by Paul on Sept 13, 2006 7:59:24 GMT -5
I shake people's hand as hard as I can until they bow in submission, just so they know I'm the alpha male.
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Post by Fuzznuts on Sept 13, 2006 8:06:48 GMT -5
Don't forget to piss all over their stuff to mark your territory.
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Post by Paul on Sept 13, 2006 8:11:37 GMT -5
Oh yea, that naturally comes second, and informs others not to mess around w/ my pack or my territory.
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Post by samplestiltskin on Sept 13, 2006 9:06:46 GMT -5
It's obvious deep down Paul just wants to be led around on a leash.
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