the happy/depression topic

[Meursault]

Well just had to put down my 16 year old cat Smokey (Smokey Beardsley Simpson). I can remember when I was 7 and bringin him home from my grandmothers and he was trying to crawl out of his box in the car and I had the damndest time trying to keep him in.

He grew up pretty fast and was a really fat cat, long grey hair, with white on the bottom. His father was a rolling stone, so he did flip out sometimes, which makes him macho of course. He was very strong to, you'd walk by him and he swat at you and you could tell he was packing a whopper, being that at his heaviest we was 20 pounds, eventually settling at 18. And over the last few years worked his way down to 12, which didn't suit such a large frame. If his ponch was another inch bigger it would have dragged on the floor.

Despite his macho and Jaba the Hutt like ways he was a very loving cat and would always sit face to face (as i taught him, so his butt wouldn't be in my face). He wheezed when he slept, which was almost all the time, and in his younger days use to leap up and down on his hind legs with his ears to the back, he looked just like a rabbit. He also learned to sit and give me his paw (always for food).

He was always a comfort for me to have around especially where i'm so moody, and was able to help me forget about my stresses when I was with him. It's very hard for me to say bye, but he was to the point where his life would just get more painful and sick.

[strat-0]

Sorry to hear that, Shane. Your Smokey looks just like the family cat I grew up with, George, if his grey hair were black. I had to put him down also, and it was awfully sad - he was over 16 as well. I know it sort of seems to signify the end of an era. Sorry, guy.

[Thorngrub]

I remember you talking of Smokey, Shane. I'm really sorry to hear about him having to pack his bags and travel out to that big, bustling kitty litter box in the sky. I feel for ya mate. I really do.

[Meursault]

This whole year since the 1st of January has been one big end of an era, with my folks splitting up, and my cat passing away.

I try not to bottle up my emotions, but I don't like them to become histrionic either.

Everything Zen.

Thanks Thorn, Strat-O.

[Ampage]

Sorry about that Shane, but I am sorry for you feeling bad, not so much Smokeys exit. No matter what you believe, you know its all good for Smokey right now. Probably laying in a bed of catnip teasing some mice somewhere.

FWIW - Considering your past year, all the pain we go through is so we can grow. I was given an awesome example of this today by a speaker. "What would happen if we took the cocoon off a catepillar? It would die. It needs that struggle of the cocoon to make his wings grow strong."

That really stuck with me.

Take care Shane.

[Meursault]

Thanks Amp, it's only the 2nd major family-like loss i've had. It's just so sad saying good bye and they have no idea what's to come. I feel bad for my mom she was the one that went in with him when they put him down. I wanted the ashes to spread in the ocean but they need a 140 some dollars which i think is pretty retarded, anything to make a dollar. I didn't have the money, and I didn't want my mom spending her money where she's on her own now.

[samplestiltskin]

I don't even know where they put my dog's body after I held her when they put her down. It was horrible, I've never gone downhill so fast in my life and stayed there for so long, but it sounds like you are dealing very sanely with it Shane. That was a really nice eulogy, sounded like a pretty amiable closure to your sadness, at least I hope. I'm all proud of you.. Zen indeed. Shitson is the shit.

I'm manic. It's all drivel, this emotional madness. I should have read more of Simpson's zen passages when he was posting them.

[Meursault]

To not accept what you hear by report, do not accept tradition, do not accept a statement because it is found in your books, nor because it is in accord with your belief, nor because it is the saying of your teacher. Be lamps unto yourselves. Those who, either now or after I am dead, shall rely upon themselves only and not look for assistance to anyone besides themselves, it is they who shall reach the topmost height.
The Buddha


I am enlightened, and always have been, simultaneously with the beginning of the universe.
The Buddha, first words after realizing the truth

[mellie]

Sorry about the Cat Shane. *hugs*

[Meursault]

Thanks mel.

Update on my Smokey my cat.

My mother was over where i'm house sitting tonight and I had asked her how she made out with him when they put him down (i'd left before they took him in as i didn't really think i wanted to witness it). I was very relieved to hear that he was purring with his head in her hands and went to sleep in a matter of seconds.

Doctor or student or whoever found that he had a tumour the size of a plum between his two bowels and was amazed he managed to pass anything at all.

Anyways I was very happy to hear his last moments were as peaceful as i'd hoped they'd be.

[Thorngrub]

Well Shane, this one's for you:

[The following poem is actually a true story, based on real pets, the names have NOT been changed, this all really happened:]



a Tale for Children



Wikki is a snuggly wuggly
Pretty Blue was cuddly too
Fuzzy Wuzzy was dropped eight feet
Zachary the owl was really neat

All these things I say are true
Now how many pets remember you?

Smokey was a cocker spaniel
of deepest darkest black
Bambi was a small and spotted
spindly-legged fawn

Lancelot the ocelot and
his twin brother Ivanhoe
romped until dawn amidst
the pieces of Bambi spread all over the lawn

'Cause Bambi got eaten
by a pack of wild dogs
who fell in from the woods
late at night while the children slept

and the fire from the fireplace
licked at the logs
and all the adults
stood by and wept

because there was nothing that they could do
to bring Bambi back who was scattered and
shredded and gobbled-up by the pack who
though they're roaming around now feeling well fed

are looking for YOU and all of your friends
and family too to steal into your home
during the wee hours of night and
rip off your face with their teeth--

--they just might.

'Twas a terrible tragedy to behold
Smokey ran off with the murderous pack
the ocelots ate cockroaches, got sick, and died.
Fuzzy slept under the tire for the last time.

While Pretty Blue and Zachary flew
off into the cloud jungle blue
and Tangle Bones Rubber Head Wikki Wikki Kitty
was left to be cared for by Jen in the city

~ fin ~

[achn2b]

shane, sorry to hear the news about your old pal. i know exactly where you're coming from.

had to put my cat Rogue to sleep a little over a year ago, as his kidneys had shut down. my bestest friend in the world, and it was the hardest thing i've ever done, i felt worse than when losing my grandparents. i still miss him even now.