I want a trial

[Thorngrub]

phil said:

S'il vous plaît sont des mots qui vont très bien ensemble ... Hé ...

Um . . .yeah: what you said

[ClubberLang]

Hey, no speaking fucking sputnik on my trial board. i know you guys are talking about perogies and snow and shit but cmon

[Thorngrub]

I Just Saw A Squirrel!

[Kensterberg]

My meds are good ... better living through chemicals, that's my mantra for the rest of the decade. I'm still about three steps from that black pit, but at least it's three steps ... or one really hard push.

[Rit]

whoops, Ken, i deleted my post and put it on the Crack Whore board, which is where i meant to put it..

delete yours and repost there

sorry bout that!

[Kensterberg]

Sorry Rit, I'm leaving my post here ... it may not make any sense, but wasn't that part of the point of this board?

Today has not been a good day ... but the afternoon was a hell of a lot better than the morning. I hate feeling like that.

[Rit]

i hope it goes better tomorrow then. i see what you're saying about the meds and all, but i get a very strange feeling when i think about the world of meds = prognosis good = patient cured.
course, i'd be talking out of my arse if i haven't been on them, but i have in the past....

[Kensterberg]

If I don't take my drugs, I'm pretty much assured a one-way trip straight down the well. Even when I do take 'em as prescribed, there are still plenty of times that I don't function so well. And today was one of those. I just hope that I'm not one of those whose depression eventually stops responding to SSRIs. I take Zoloft and Efexor, with a dash of Xanax to top it all off, and it's pretty effective (for the most part). But I've been very good about taking my drugs this entire year, and I'm still fighting the undertow. Not good. Not good at all.

heroin, will be the death of me ... it's my life and it's my wife ...

[Rit]

wow, that's a lot of SSRIs. i was only on one, Celexa. i stopped eventually because they made me feel quite resentful, and my buddies and my brother were all resolutely opposed to the idea. i also felt suicidal once, while i was on them, so i sorta freaked myself out, and decided i didn't like them, and then i slowed them down and stopped alltogether.
since then, i've noticed times where i feel super freaking manic or ultra depressed, but i've tried to fight off the urge to see it pathologically. i want to see it wholistically, just a thing i have to deal with, and roll with. it might perhaps not be working as well as i hoped, since i seem to have these ridiculous times where i leap into a pursuit (reading the bible, say) with such fervour that i'm astounded as to where the impulse comes from. i'll read tons of books on a topic, immerse myself in it totally, spend a bit of cash on it.... all to find out two or three weeks later that i'm spinning my wheels, and i'm right back where i started. that i didn't really care for it in the first place, and feel like i wasted a whole lot of energy for no purpose. being in between school work, as i am, i've been fortuneate enough to have these manic periods absorbed into the student lifestyle.

but it can't last i suppose. i still stubbornly maintain that i have to keep busy thinking about the future and stuff, and i don't need meds.

[Kensterberg]

I'm lucky (if that's the right word) that I "only" have depression, so there's no danger of taking the wrong med for my state. It's still frustrating as hell though. I fought the whole idea of meds for years, but finally gave in, and they have literally saved my life.

I guess I should be posting this stuff over on Bared Souls ('cause this is about as bare as my soul gets these days) or somewhere like that. I'm gonna bring Clubber's trial down, and down, and down.

I need to get the hell out of my office ... go home, have some dinner, play with the puppies ...

[Rit]

yeah, be good to the people around you. the dividends work both ways. that's all i can say.

oh, and listen to good music

[maarts]

Wow.

Ken, you're as far from all that as I can read in your posts.

Either you are doing something very good or I'm a dunderhead.

[Kensterberg]

Thanks. I actually don't show much of my inner turmoil these days. And frankly, the last few years (I've been on these meds since late 2001) have been the best I've ever had, as far as my illness goes. But the last month or so hasn't been the most fun I've ever had ... hopefully it will pass soon.

And since I learned to think of this as a disease rather than a personality flaw (or trait, or whatever), I've been much better at keeping it at bay. But there are days ...

[Nepenthe]

I have never been on any meds for depression, although you would think I would be. Nope, the only meds I have ever been on are the armour I take for the Hashimoto's Disease (low grade malt lymphoma in which the white blood cells attack the thyroid) and a few occasional pain killers for body aches from the Raynaud's and Fibromyalgia and carpal tunnel, but mostly ibuprofen. These conditions are inherited from my mother.

Doc says I am possible lupus, have many of the symptoms and 2 positve ANA tests, but thank god no internal organ involvement!!

The worst part of these problems is the fatigue, muscle and joint aches, and the congnitive "brain fog", and the longlasting bouts of sinusitis and bronchitis when I get a cold.

I felt a little better after reading an article at John Hopkins University the other day about Barbara and George (husband) Bush both have autoimmune thyroid disease and their dog had lupus. I wonder if GW has inherited this from either of them, I have often wondered about that. I thought maybe that is why he sometimes gets his words all mixed up and stumbles or sometimes appears like he might have some "brain fog".

[Thorngrub]

never been on meds


guess the budz takes care o' that