maarts' newsagency

[maarts]

'Midget' robbers arrested in Malaysia

Malaysian police have arrested an eight-member gang of small-sized robbers dubbed the "midget" gang.

Police say they confessed to 14 break-ins over the past three months.

The gang members, aged between 14- and 23-years-old, are all small. Some of them are less than 150 centimetres tall.

The smallest would be picked to squeeze through small openings into the houses they robbed in central Malaysia.

AAP

[maarts]

'Unicorn was driving'

A US man accused of drunk-driving and crashing his truck into a lamp post told police a unicorn had been at the wheel when it careered off the road.

Phillip Holliday, 42, pleaded not guilty to charges of criminal endangerment and drunk-driving when he appeared before a court in the western state of Montana yesterday, the Billings Gazette reported today.

The court heard that Holliday has five previous convictions, four felonies, 35 misdemeanors and 53 traffic violations - including 28 convictions for driving with a suspended licence.

His March 7 crash in Billings was witnessed by two police officers, said prosecutor Ingrid Rosenquist, but Holliday still insisted a unicorn was driving when he slammed into the street lighting, shortly after jumping a red light.

AFP

[maarts]

Flying first class with corpse in next seat


A passenger in first class woke up to a shock when he found himself sitting near a corpse on a British Airways flight, British newspapers reported today.

Paul Trinder, 54, said cabin crew moved the body of the elderly woman from the economy section where she had died after take-off, the Mirror and Sun tabloids said.

"The corpse was strapped into the seat but because of turbulence it kept slipping down on to the floor," Trinder, a businessman, was quoted as saying.

"It was horrific. The body had to be wedged in place with lots of pillows."

The woman's daughter was also upgraded and spent the rest of the nine-hour flight from Delhi to London grieving next to her dead mother, the Sun reported.

The Guardian newspaper said the incident happened last week.

British Airways has apologised for any distress suffered, according to the reports.

The Mirror quoted BA as saying: "We apologise, but our crew were working in difficult circumstances and chose the option they thought would cause least disruption."

Reuters

[ScottsyII]

That last story was darn funny! Imagine that, turning to the bloke next to you, thinking, "geez, this fella must fly alot if he sleeps so well on planes" and then discovering he is stone cold dead...

Ya know, remind me when Melissa and I are booking tickets for our next Aussie visit - DO NOT buy British Airways tickets...

Unless they remove the corpse and upgrade me to first class.... hmmmmmm...

Nah, that's just a little TOO morbid...

[maarts]

Man crushed by flying cow

A man was killed after his car collided with a large cow, sending the creature flying into the air before it landed on the car rooftop and crushed the driver.

Police said the 26-year-old Broome man was driving along the Exmouth-Minilya Road near Carnarvon, in Western Australia, on Wednesday night when his Ford utility smashed into the cow, which was standing in the middle of the road.

"It is believed that the cow had been thrown onto the roof of the car and dented it on the driver's side, crushing the car on impact," WA Police said in a press release.

"The car continued to travel down the road, where it appears the animal has fallen off around 50 metres past the point of impact."

The car veered on and off the road several times before coming to a halt in bushland, police said.

It was not until 9.30am the next morning that a passer-by came across the accident.

The driver's death brought the state's road toll to 98.

[maarts]

The world's strangest laws

Did you know it's illegal in France to name a pig Napoleon? Or that in Ohio you're not allowed to get a fish drunk? Alex Wade celebrates the spirit of the silly season with a list of the world's most ridiculous laws
(Kham/Reuters)



A pig, yesterday....not Napoleon.


25. It is illegal for a cab in the City of London to carry rabid dogs or corpses.

24. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament.

23. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside down.

22. In France, it is forbidden to call a pig Napoleon.

21. Under the UK’s Tax Avoidance Schemes Regulations 2006, it is illegal not to tell the taxman anything you don’t want him to know, though you don’t have to tell him anything you don’t mind him knowing.

20. In Alabama, it is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while driving a vehicle.

19. In Ohio, it is against state law to get a fish drunk.

18. Royal Navy ships that enter the Port of London must provide a barrel of rum to the Constable of the Tower of London.

17. In the UK, a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants – even, if she so requests, in a policeman’s helmet.

16. In Lancashire, no person is permitted after being asked to stop by a constable on the seashore to incite a dog to bark.

15. In Miami, Florida, it is illegal to skateboard in a police station.

14. In Indonesia, the penalty for masturbation is decapitation.

13. In England, all men over the age of 14 must carry out two hours of longbow practice a day.

12. In London, Freemen are allowed to take a flock of sheep across London Bridge without being charged a toll; they are also allowed to drive geese down Cheapside.

11. In San Salvador, drunk drivers can be punished by death before a firing squad.

10. In the UK, a man who feels compelled to urinate in public can do so only if he aims for his rear wheel and keeps his right hand on his vehicle.

9. In Florida, unmarried women who parachute on Sundays can be jailed.

8. In Kentucky, it is illegal to carry a concealed weapon more than six-feet long.

7. In Chester, Welshmen are banned from entering the city before sunrise and from staying after sunset.

6. In the city of York, it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow.

5. In Boulder, Colorado, it is illegal to kill a bird within the city limits and also to “own” a pet – the town’s citizens, legally speaking, are merely “pet minders”.

4. In Vermont, women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.

3. In London, it is illegal to flag down a taxi if you have the plague.

2. In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman’s genitals but is forbidden from looking directly at them during the examination; he may only see their reflection in a mirror.

1. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast is legally the property of the King; the tail, on the other hand, belongs to the Queen - in case she needs the bones for her corset.

[upinkzeppelin2]

Yeah, I was driving with a blindfold just the other day. Damn highway patrol! Gotta pay $250.

[maarts]

Wonder how affluent Jesus is on his longbow....

[phil]

23. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside down.

I do it all the time !!

14. In Indonesia, the penalty for masturbation is decapitation.

YIKES !!

[RocDoc]

_{10. In the UK, a man who feels compelled to urinate in public can do so only if he aims for his rear wheel and keeps his right hand on his vehicle.}

this sounds oddly reasonable....i mean if ya gotta go ya gotta go.

[bowiglou]

and that's still OK if you have a convertible?

rocdoc said:

_{10. In the UK, a man who feels compelled to urinate in public can do so only if he aims for his rear wheel and keeps his right hand on his vehicle.}

this sounds oddly reasonable....i mean if ya gotta go ya gotta go.

[phil]

Pastafarians ... ?? LoLoLoL ... !


Student punished for spaghetti beliefs

Thursday, March 29, 2007

A student has been suspended from school in America for coming to class dressed as a pirate.
But the disciplinary action has provoked controversy – because the student says that the ban violates his rights, as the pirate costume is part of his religion.

Bryan Killian says that he follows the Pastafarian religion, and that as a crucial part of his faith, he must wear 'full pirate regalia' as prescribed in the holy texts of Pastafarianism.
The school, however, say that his pirate garb was disruptive.



Pastafarians follow the Flying Spaghetti Monster (pictured), and believe that the world was created by the touch of his noodly appendage. Furthermore, they acknowledge pirates as being 'absolute divine beings', and stress that the worldwide decline in the number of pirates has directly led to global warming.

Pastafarianism gained wide attention when its key prophet, Bobby Henderson, wrote to the Kansas School Board during the height of the controversy over 'Intelligent Design' being taught in science classes. His letter, also published on his website, demanded equal time be given to the teachings of the Flying Spaghetti Monster as was given to ID and evolutionary theory.
Since then, the Flying Spaghetti Monster has gained countless followers worldwide, although there are those who remain spagnostic.

The school, in North Buncombe, North Carolina, remains adamant that their decision to suspend Killian for a day has nothing to do with his religion, and quite a lot to do with his repeated refusal to heed warnings against wearing pirate outfits.

[maarts]

LOL!
That's priceless. Great student prank (if only they put in as much effort in doing their homework...)

[maarts]

A waiter at an Italian restaurant had probably a bad night with some customers...at least judging by the bill he served up to them...
Must've been a special then...

[phil]

25 bucks for a "Meat Ball Starter" ... ?

Next time I go to an Italian restaurant,
I'll make sure to bring Jumper cables along !!