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Post by maarts on Mar 28, 2005 7:07:50 GMT -5
Typically frigid German response, leaving him...probably not kinky enough.
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Post by ScottsyII on Mar 28, 2005 7:10:43 GMT -5
Maybe he gave her two reasons to dislike him instead of just one...  |
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Post by maarts on May 19, 2005 5:55:36 GMT -5
Monkey business
A South African zoo wants a chimpanzee to quit smoking cold turkey.
Keepers say Charlie the chimpanzee picked up the habit from visitors to the Bloemfontein Zoo who sometimes toss him cigarettes.
"Charlie mimics people and has learned to smoke," a zoo spokesman told the South African Broadcasting Corporation.
"It may look funny, but it's really bad for his health, especially as he gets older."
A zoo official said Charlie acted "like a naughty schoolboy" and hid his cigarettes when workers were around.
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Post by maarts on May 19, 2005 6:01:42 GMT -5
Better than a tiger in your tank
Bangkok: A tourist who couldn't get his rented car to start discovered that a five-metre python was the cause of his engine problem.
Authorities at Krabi, 600 kilometres south of Bangkok, spent more than an hour unwrapping the snake from the engine and released it uharmed, into the nearby forest.
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Post by ScottsyII on May 20, 2005 8:59:59 GMT -5
Definitely puts a newangle on starting problems! Must remember that it always could be a python if the car doesn't start one morning!
Wonder how the snake escaped the post rental inspection... or indeed if such an inspection ever occured! :-)
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Post by strat-0 on May 20, 2005 19:38:19 GMT -5
I wonder how the chimp lights his smokes.
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Post by maarts on Jun 15, 2005 5:58:22 GMT -5
Sect expels 1000 boys so men get more wives
Washington: Up to 1000 teenage boys have been separated from their parents and thrown out of their communities by a polygamous sect to make more young women available for older men, Utah state officials allege.
Many of the so-called "Lost Boys", some as young as 13, were dumped on the side of the road in Arizona and Utah by leaders of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and told they will never see their families again or go to heaven.
The 10,000-strong sect, which broke away from the Mormon church in 1890 when the mainstream faith disavowed polygamy, believes a man must marry at least three women to go to heaven. The sect appeared to be in turmoil on Monday after its assets were frozen and a warrant was issued in Arizona for the arrest of its authoritarian leader, Warren Jeffs, for arranging a wedding between an under-age girl and a 28-year-old man who was already married.
Jeffs is being sued by lawyers for six of the Lost Boys for purging surplus males from the community, and by his nephew Brent Jeffs, who has accused him of sexual abuse. Utah state officials believe Jeffs may be in hiding in a sect compound near Eldorado, Texas, and they have warned that cornering him could provoke a tragedy like the 1993 siege of the Branch Davidian sect in Waco, Texas.
Jim Hill, an investigator in Utah's attorney-general's office, said on Monday: "From everything I've been able to discern about Warren Jeffs, he is someone who is capable of some very different things. Whether that includes a mass suicide, I don't know. But I worry about it all the time."
Sect leaders have argued that the Lost Boys were exiled because they were teenage delinquents who refused to keep the sect's rules. A state investigator, Jim Hill, said their expulsion had more to do with the ruthless sexual arithmetic of a polygamous sect.
"Obviously if you're going to have three to one or four to one female to male marriages, you're going to run out of females," he said. "The way of taking care of it is selectively casting out those you don't want to be in the religion."
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Post by maarts on Jun 15, 2005 6:04:44 GMT -5
Help is a four-letter word
London: Customers who rang the helpline of one of Britain's biggest cable television companies were shocked to be told to "fuck off".
But Ashley Gibbins, who recorded the tirade in revenge for being put on hold for an hour, walked free from court this week after magistrates decided that the message, although offensive, did not reach the "grossly offensive" standard for prosecution.
Mr Gibbins discovered by chance that he could change the recorded message on NTL's customer service line. The polite request to hold was changed to: "Hello, you're through to NTL customer services. We don't give a fuck about you, basically, and we are not going to handle any of your complaints. Just fuck off and leave us alone."
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Post by ScottsyII on Jun 15, 2005 18:12:20 GMT -5
Fantastic! Whoever was judging that case must have spent the entire court proceedings trying to repress a giggle... man, I'd love to get a recorded message like that... at least it would be telling the TRUTH! :-)
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Post by ScottsyII on Jun 15, 2005 18:17:05 GMT -5
Sect expels 1000 boys so men get more wives Washington: Up to 1000 teenage boys have been separated from their parents and thrown out of their communities by a polygamous sect to make more young women available for older men, Utah state officials allege. Many of the so-called "Lost Boys", some as young as 13, were dumped on the side of the road in Arizona and Utah by leaders of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and told they will never see their families again or go to heaven. The 10,000-strong sect, which broke away from the Mormon church in 1890 when the mainstream faith disavowed polygamy, believes a man must marry at least three women to go to heaven. The sect appeared to be in turmoil on Monday after its assets were frozen and a warrant was issued in Arizona for the arrest of its authoritarian leader, Warren Jeffs, for arranging a wedding between an under-age girl and a 28-year-old man who was already married. Jeffs is being sued by lawyers for six of the Lost Boys for purging surplus males from the community, and by his nephew Brent Jeffs, who has accused him of sexual abuse. Utah state officials believe Jeffs may be in hiding in a sect compound near Eldorado, Texas, and they have warned that cornering him could provoke a tragedy like the 1993 siege of the Branch Davidian sect in Waco, Texas. Jim Hill, an investigator in Utah's attorney-general's office, said on Monday: "From everything I've been able to discern about Warren Jeffs, he is someone who is capable of some very different things. Whether that includes a mass suicide, I don't know. But I worry about it all the time." Sect leaders have argued that the Lost Boys were exiled because they were teenage delinquents who refused to keep the sect's rules. A state investigator, Jim Hill, said their expulsion had more to do with the ruthless sexual arithmetic of a polygamous sect. "Obviously if you're going to have three to one or four to one female to male marriages, you're going to run out of females," he said. "The way of taking care of it is selectively casting out those you don't want to be in the religion." Very interesting story! Kinda brutal in a way... just found that an interesting point of reference, given that all of the websites outlining the rules of entrance to the US as a migrant very clearly say you are ineligible if you "practice polygamy"... I feel for the poor kids who got dumped out of the sect and told they won't see their families and won't go to heaven... geez, that 'aint your "gentle let down". |
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Post by Thorngrub on Jun 22, 2005 11:33:45 GMT -5
Well, I kicked my roommate out to the street the other day. I was tired of sharing my bed with her. All she ever did was hang out in that corner of hers. Boy was she pissed at me when I insisted on carefully removing her from my life. I don't know if it's because she was pregnant, or because she had really become attached to me. All I know is I carefully trapped her in a jar, slid some paper over the opening, and carried her outside to start her new life in the hedgerow out front. I've never encountered a spider with that much wrath backed up. I just hope she doesn't start stalking me.
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Post by maarts on Jun 22, 2005 23:41:54 GMT -5
Brrr! Better hope she doesn't crawl back in your house and hides inside your undies!
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Post by Thorngrub on Jun 23, 2005 9:21:07 GMT -5
lol, I know. Somehow I suspect she is canny enough to make her way precisely around every corner, down the stairway, under the door, across the living room, and back to her preferred spot in the corner of my room. If she does -- I'll merely apologize to my love. And start knitting spider booties.
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Post by maarts on Sept 6, 2005 20:54:26 GMT -5
They must be nuts
An Australian hoaxer left organisers of the world testicle-cooking championship hanging after claiming he was Australia's leading kangaroo testicle cook.
A man calling himself Nigel Bevan failed to turn up for the event after contacting organisers to boast of his credentials and order a supply of kangaroo testicles for the competition.
Local villagers in Sumska Kuca in northern Serbia turned out in huge numbers to see what delights the Australian could come up with and a band was ready to strike up to welcome the mysterious Bevan. But they were disappointed and organisers were out of pocket after buying the kangaroo testicles but with no one to cook them.
"We get cooks from all over Europe who come here to northern Serbia to take on Serbian chefs, but we have never had a cook from as far away as Australia, so when we heard that Nigel Bevan, Australia's top testicle chef, was on his way with a team of Australian chefs we were really excited," championship organiser Ljubomir Erovic said, "The caller told us cooked kangaroo testicles were a popular delicacy in Australia, and gave us the details of where we could get kangaroo testicles from so we could have them ready when Mr Bevan and his team arrived. We were disappointed when no Australians arrived, we even had a band ready to welcome them."
Erovic, who arranged for a hotel for Bevan and a VIP reception, said the man claiming to be the chef told him he had read about the contest in an Australian gourmet magazine.
In the end a team of Serbian chefs called Boemi (Bohemians) from Gornji Milanovac won after beating off stiff competition from 11 other teams. "They prepared wild boar and bull testicles which delighted the jury", Erovic said, "We are sorry Mr Bevan could not make it and hope he might still turn up next year once he realises that jokers have been pretending to be him. We would like to compare the testicles of a kangaroo to those of wild boars and bulls. That would really make our unique competition the world championships."
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Post by maarts on Sept 6, 2005 20:55:54 GMT -5
The canary did it
A 75-year-old Greek woman has been charged with drug offences after police in her sleepy island village spotted a small cannabis plant growing on her balcony.
Hariklia Griva, a widowed mother of four from Ayiassos, on the eastern Aegean Sea island of Lesvos, was arrested and charged with growing cannabis with the intent of trafficking in the drug. She was released on bail.
The woman, whose late husband was a policeman, told police the 40-centimetre plant grew from a seed dropped by her pet canaries. The birds live in a cage on the balcony overlooking a busy Ayiassos street - opposite the local police station.
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