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Post by rockkid on Oct 23, 2005 15:46:48 GMT -5
Not noticing my ass! Blind & stupid is more like it.
I find that Smurfs ad disgusting. Why? Well there’s no arguing it’s a valid cause but taking a revered childs comic & using it that way just doesn’t sit well. My two cents.
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Post by phil on Dec 6, 2005 22:50:57 GMT -5
Woman Allegedly Hires Hit Man for Cheese
The Associated Press
Tuesday, December 6, 2005; 7:01 PM
MEMPHIS, Tenn. -- In an unusual case of mistaken identity, a woman who thought a block of white cheese was cocaine is charged with trying to hire a hit man to rob and kill four men. The woman also was mistaken about the hit man. He turned out to be an undercover police officer.
Jessica Sandy Booth, 18, was arrested over the weekend and remains in jail with bond set at $1 million on four charges of attempted murder and four counts of soliciting a murder.
According to police, Booth was in the Memphis home of the four intended victims last week when she mistook a block of queso fresco cheese for cocaine _ inspiring the idea to hire someone to break into the home, take the drugs, and kill the men.
An informant described the plot to police, who arranged a meeting between Booth and the undercover officer.
The undercover officer gave Booth some nonfunctioning handguns, bought ammunition for her because she was too young, and the two proceeded to the home under police surveillance.
Booth told the officer that any children inside the house old enough to testify would have to be killed, police said.
A search of the home with the permission of the occupants revealed no drugs _ only the white, crumbly cheese common in Mexican cuisine.
"Four men were going to lose their lives over some cheese," said Lt. Jeff Clark, who heads Project Safe Neighborhoods.
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Post by luke on Dec 7, 2005 13:02:39 GMT -5
If there is anything in this world worth killing over...it's cheese.
Give me a big soft hunk of white fluffy cheese over some nose candy any day of the week.
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Post by phil on Dec 7, 2005 13:19:24 GMT -5
Luke ~ Geez ! You have me laughing with your posts today !!
Thanks !!
Except the one with the dog of course ...
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Post by strat-0 on Jan 18, 2006 14:44:03 GMT -5
How about EMF licensing Kraft to use their song to promote Krafts new crumbled cheese product?
"Their crumbelievable!"
I always thought they were cheezy.
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Post by strat-0 on Jan 18, 2006 22:17:32 GMT -5
...And now I'm sure of it. But why does Kentucky Fried Chicken use "Sweet Home Alabama" for their theme music in their ad? I recently heard "Mambo #5" rear its ugly head in some food commercial. How long should a tune remain dormant before it is descended upon by ad agencies? (In some cases, forever?)
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Post by Kensterberg on Jan 18, 2006 22:54:18 GMT -5
Mambo #5 should be erased from our collective memory. If any song calls for a neo-Stalinist purging from history, it's that abyssmal riff ("song" is much too good a word). So I agree that the statute of limitations on using a track in commercials should never expire for some tracks.
I've noticed, in comparing songs used in commercials from the seventies or eighties w/songs today, that it seems like anything that is between twenty and forty years old is fair game. In some cases, tracks are used w/in ten years of their release, but those seem to be the exception, both then and now. But this isn't a scientific study or anything. Instead, it's just my two cents ... and I could be wrong.
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Post by rockysigman on Jan 19, 2006 2:26:09 GMT -5
The one and only time I visited New York was a god awful family trip (step-mom's family, so not even real family) over Thanksgiving, my senior year of high school. We saw the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. I had never really given a shit about that parade before (or any parade for that matter), but my dad, step-mom and step-mom's parents did their best to convince me that the Macy's parade would still be exciting, because, if nothing else, there would be some celebraties in it, and seeing celebraties in person was always interesting. Other than a couple bench players for the Yankees, the only "celebraties" I remember being in the parade were 98 Degrees, and Lou Bega. Fuck parades.
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Post by luke on Jan 19, 2006 8:53:29 GMT -5
Mambo #5 should be erased from our collective memory. If any song calls for a neo-Stalinist purging from history, it's that abyssmal riff ("song" is much too good a word). So I agree that the statute of limitations on using a track in commercials should never expire for some tracks. I've noticed, in comparing songs used in commercials from the seventies or eighties w/songs today, that it seems like anything that is between twenty and forty years old is fair game. In some cases, tracks are used w/in ten years of their release, but those seem to be the exception, both then and now. But this isn't a scientific study or anything. Instead, it's just my two cents ... and I could be wrong. Those Applebee's commericals are the devil. It's one thing to play some horrible song in your commercial, it's another to change all the words to talk about generic rib and shrimp platters. |
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Post by maarts on Jan 27, 2006 15:18:20 GMT -5
Just parking some classic quotes here, to be inserted in casual conversations later on:
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
Woody Allen
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
Rodney Dangerfield
"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
Lynn Lavner
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
Camille Paglia
"Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation. The other eight are unimportant."
George Burns
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."
Sharon Stone
"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
Tiger Woods
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." !
Jack Nicholson
"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
Barbara Bush
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
Robin Williams
"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
Billy Crystal
"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
Robert De Niro
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
Dustin Hoffman
"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked'."
Jerry Seinfeld
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
Robin Williams
"It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom."
Joan Rivers
"Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy."
Steve Martin
"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life."
Elmo Phillips
"Bigamy is having one wife too many.. Monogamy is the same."
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Post by maarts on Jan 27, 2006 15:28:25 GMT -5
...and some jokes too! Man says to wife 'I had a wet dream about you last night, I dreamt you got run over by a bus and I pissed myself laughing'. A woman asked her hubby if he knew how she could make her bust bigger. He said 'try rubbing toilet paper between your tits, it's worked for your arse'. My uncle just got struck off the medical register for having sex with his patients, it's a real shame cause he's a really good vet. Woman walks past a pet shop with a sign reading 'For sale clitoris licking frog' She goes in and the shopkeeper say's 'Bonjour madame'. Yesterday I read an article about the dangers of drinking too much, it scared the shit out of me. So today I decided I'm never reading again. Little girl gets lost in Tesco's, security guard asks her 'what's your mum like?' Little girl replies 'Big cocks and vodka'. A couple in a cafe in Llangollen asks 'Can you settle an argument for us and pronounce where we are, VERY slowly?' The waitress leaned over and said ........ 'Burrr gurrr king'. Boss has to lay off Ann or Jack. Ann walks into the office, boss say's 'I have a problem, I have to lay you or Jack off..... 'You better jack off, I've got a headache'. Larry la Prise who wrote the hokey pokey has died aged 93. The worst part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in, then the trouble started. Paul McCartney poem-: We lay upon the grassy bank, my hands were all a quiver, I slowly undid her suspender belt and her leg fell in the river. " Sorry I haven't been in touch, a friend was rushed to hospital to have a dangerous mole removed from his penis...... he won't be shagging one of those again! It's important to keep fit as you get older, my granny started walking 5 kilometres a day when she was 60. Today she's 97 and we don't know where the hell she is! Tampax have replaced the string on their tampons with a piece of tinsel.... They say it's only for the Christmas period. A woman goes to her doctor with a bit of lettuce hanging out of her pussy. Doc say's 'that looks nasty'. She say's 'Nasty? It's just the tip of the iceberg!" Two newly weds turn up at a hotel and ask for the honeymoon suite, the receptionist asks 'do you have reservations?' The bride answers 'Yes, I won't take it up the arse'! A recent scientific study had found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged masculine features and when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol, set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eyes and a cricket stump jammed up his arse. A woman rubbed a bottle and out popped a genie. The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes. The genie said, "Nope, sorry, three-wish genies are a storybook myth. I'm a one-wish genie. So... what'll it be?" The woman did not hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other and I want all the Arabs to love the Jews and Americans and vice-versa. It will bring about world peace and harmony." The genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Lady, be reasonable. These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm out of shape after being in a bottle for five hundred years.. I'm good but not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish and please be reasonable." The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able to find the right man. You know - one that's considerate and fun, likes to cook and help with the house cleaning, is great in bed, and gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and is faithful. That is what I wish for...a good man." The genie let out a sigh and said, "Let me see the fucking map again."  |
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Post by maarts on Mar 17, 2006 21:47:34 GMT -5
Miss Deaf Texas struck by train, killed
AUSTIN, Texas (AP) -- The reigning Miss Deaf Texas died after being struck by a train, officials said.
Tara Rose McAvoy, 18, was walking Monday near railroad tracks when she was struck by a Union Pacific train, authorities said.
A witness told Austin television station KTBC the train sounded its horn right up until the accident occurred.
McAvoy, who had been deaf since birth, won the state title in June and represented the state "with dignity and pride," state pageant director Laura Loeb-Hill told The Associated Press via e-mail Monday night.
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Post by maarts on Jul 21, 2006 6:07:40 GMT -5
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Post by limitdeditionlayla on Nov 17, 2006 22:52:39 GMT -5
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Post by maarts on Mar 27, 2007 7:13:25 GMT -5
Silly Billy marries goat
A Sudanese man has been forced to "marry" a goat after its owner busted him having a midnight sex session with the animal, media reports say.
The goat's new "groom", a Mr Tombe, was ordered to pay a dowry of 15,000 ($62) Sudanese dinars to its owner, Mr Alifi, by a council of elders, the BBC said.
"We have given him the goat, and as far as we know they are still together," Mr Alifi reportedly told the Juba Post newspaper.
Mr Alifi, of Hai Malakal in Upper Nile State, told the newspaper he rumbled Mr Tombe after hearing a loud noise about midnight on February 13.
He hurried outside to find Mr Tombe with his goat.
"When I asked him: 'What are you doing there?', he fell off the back of the goat, so I captured and tied him up," he said.
The council elders was called in to rule on the case, Mr Alifi said.
"They said I should not take him to the police, but rather let him pay a dowry for my goat because he used it as his wife," he said.
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