Post by strat-0 on Aug 9, 2005 19:12:20 GMT -5
You all know this one!
I hate to start on a downbeat, but...
Yesterday was not a good day. I spent the evening with my best friends, two people I've known and played music with for over 20 years. I guess I was about 22 when we met, and they had just got married. His son was 9 and hers was 8, and they made a pretty happy family. I used to bring the boys toys at Christmas and other times - balsa wood gliders, walkie-talkies (before everyone had cell phones!), and other stuff. I guess they thought I was really cool.
Even if we drifted apart at times, as we did at times when I played with the Mojos, we always kept in touch periodically. More recently we'd usually get together on weekends to practice and have fun.
The boys grew up - hers is doing something with his life and getting married this summer. His became a major fuckup. The boy had twin daughters nine years ago by a short-term girlfriend - also a fuckup. So my friends have raised the two girls as their own while he lived however he lived. Both parents maintained some involvement, but as I said, they were complete fuckups.
His son went down the road of severe alcohol and substance abuse to the point of self-destruction. He was no doubt mentally ill, and would always hurt anyone around him in various ways - stealing from them (his parents, grandparents, friends, anyone), wild behavior, destruction of property, in and out of trouble and rehab, running with really bad people... His parents and grandparents tried to get him help, but he wasn't having any. He wouldn't work, so he had to use these and other creative means to get what he wanted. One was to shoplift Listerine, cough syrup, etc. to chug for a buzz. Well, he apparently destroyed his pancreas with this and other behaviors and eventually became quite sick. Only then did he start to try to straighten up and do a few things right.
But it was too late. He never woke up yesterday. My friend's only child and son, dead at 29. I'll miss the boy who used to love to fly the gliders and draw pictures. I know my friend will miss him too.
I told them last night that I wouldn't be going to the funeral. I can't take going to any more young peoples' funerals. The last one was several years ago, for another friend who died in a car crash, also leaving two young girls with no father (and no mother). I've written about that before somewhere. It was almost more than I could bear, hearing those two girls crying that their daddy was supposed to be there with them. I can't take that scene again - I wouldn't be helping matters. Instead, I put something in an envelope to benefit my friends and their young granddaughters. Yesterday was not a good day.
I hate to start on a downbeat, but...
Yesterday was not a good day. I spent the evening with my best friends, two people I've known and played music with for over 20 years. I guess I was about 22 when we met, and they had just got married. His son was 9 and hers was 8, and they made a pretty happy family. I used to bring the boys toys at Christmas and other times - balsa wood gliders, walkie-talkies (before everyone had cell phones!), and other stuff. I guess they thought I was really cool.
Even if we drifted apart at times, as we did at times when I played with the Mojos, we always kept in touch periodically. More recently we'd usually get together on weekends to practice and have fun.
The boys grew up - hers is doing something with his life and getting married this summer. His became a major fuckup. The boy had twin daughters nine years ago by a short-term girlfriend - also a fuckup. So my friends have raised the two girls as their own while he lived however he lived. Both parents maintained some involvement, but as I said, they were complete fuckups.
His son went down the road of severe alcohol and substance abuse to the point of self-destruction. He was no doubt mentally ill, and would always hurt anyone around him in various ways - stealing from them (his parents, grandparents, friends, anyone), wild behavior, destruction of property, in and out of trouble and rehab, running with really bad people... His parents and grandparents tried to get him help, but he wasn't having any. He wouldn't work, so he had to use these and other creative means to get what he wanted. One was to shoplift Listerine, cough syrup, etc. to chug for a buzz. Well, he apparently destroyed his pancreas with this and other behaviors and eventually became quite sick. Only then did he start to try to straighten up and do a few things right.
But it was too late. He never woke up yesterday. My friend's only child and son, dead at 29. I'll miss the boy who used to love to fly the gliders and draw pictures. I know my friend will miss him too.
I told them last night that I wouldn't be going to the funeral. I can't take going to any more young peoples' funerals. The last one was several years ago, for another friend who died in a car crash, also leaving two young girls with no father (and no mother). I've written about that before somewhere. It was almost more than I could bear, hearing those two girls crying that their daddy was supposed to be there with them. I can't take that scene again - I wouldn't be helping matters. Instead, I put something in an envelope to benefit my friends and their young granddaughters. Yesterday was not a good day.
As others have said, I can only imagine how precious your support is to your friends - they're lucky to have good friends to support them through this.
