CE- with a grain of salt

[Mary]

admin said:

I'm telling ya, we went down this road, including what a "theory" is. Somebody made a very enlightening post on that matter. I'll try to search it up later.

I'm pretty sure that almost every post on CE is just a rehash of a more enlightening post someone already made a fwe years ago by now, though

there's nothing new under the sun...

anyhoo, i'm so bored at my parents' house, even blatant repetition is an improvement over staring at the living room ceiling!

[strat-0]

Wow, about 15 posts slipped while I was intermittantly working on that last one.

[shin]

I would honestly love it if Just So Stories were taught in science class. It's a much easier way of remembering how camels got their humps, and so forth. And none of that beaker/test tube crap!

[shin]

PROMOTING "INTELLIGENT DESIGN": PRESIDENT RELEASES IRONCLAD SCIENTIFIC PROOF OF GOD'S GENIUS BLUEPRINT FOR HUMANITY
Statement by the President

THE PRESIDENT: Thank you. Good afternoon. Please be seated.

As you know, earlier this week, I stated my desire to see Intelligent Design being taught right alongside evolution in public schools. Now just so we're clear, I want folks to understand that when I say "Intelligent Design," I don't mean it in the same way that some faggy creative director type wearing Woody Allen glasses does when he's talking about how some crappy website or electro-gizmo is easy to use. No, I'm referring to the FACT that humanity was invented, manufactured and distributed exclusively by God from his state-of-the-art mega-factory in the clouds. And while, yes, God Himself did engage in a certain amount of "design," that hardly means He's the kind of Nancy Boy who would subscribe to Architectural Digest or cream His jeans over the latest iMac.

Anyway, today, after having consulted at length with America's most intelligentest Creation Scientists, I am proud to present the evidence that both DISPROVES Darwin's absurd theory of evolution AND will make up the foundation of Intelligent Design Public Education for generations to come! (Applause.)

EVIDENCE OF THE LORD'S BRILLIANT BIOENGINEERING

The Appendix: Often derided by secular scientists as unimportant, the appendix is in fact an essential feature in God's meticulous design for humanity. The Almighty uses this organ, which He non-coincidentally sculpted in the shape of a miniature flaccid penis, to remotely inflict torturous earthly pain on all who displease Him.

Wisdom Teeth: Contrary to the preposterous notion that the human jaw bone has somehow grown incrementally smaller over the course of untold millennia, God took great pride in carefully programming our DNA to cause at least one impacted wisdom tooth in 90% of adults. He did this in order to assure a bright and promising future for another of his intelligent creations: orthodontia.

The "Tail Bone": Though it has labored under the double indignity of TWO anti-Christian labels: the evolution-implying "tail bone" and egregiously lewd "coccyx", this ingeniously sensitive spinal tip was installed by God specifically for occasions when your rollerskates fly out from under you while you're doing the Hokey-Pokey – so you'll land on something that punishes you for acting like white trash.

Man Nipples: While know-nothing scientists might point to the man-teat's inability to lactate as clear evidence of its nipple's superfluousness, God felt it wise to include an aesthetic nod to the lesser gender's mammaries on his otherwise superior male model, if for no other reason than to attract would-be lesbians to their rightful place: squatting spread-eagle atop a hunka hunka burnin' man.

Hybrid Excretory/Reproductive Organs: The Almighty created humanity in His own perfect, infallible image. Yet inasmuch as He lives forever, and can create people just by snapping His fingers, He doesn't need to have disgusting sex. And since He doesn't eat, He doesn't need to go tinkle or doody either. These minor differences required last-minute, albeit still perfect modifications to His miraculous design. And while liberal academics suggest that excretory and reproductive functions would be kept separate in any truly "intelligent" design, in God's mind, boys' willies and girls' hoo-hoos have but ONE function: expelling sundry sticky and smelly juices, semi-solids, and screeching little sinners.

The Narrow Birth Canal: When the Lord first designed woman – using His Original Recipe Disembodied Rib, His only intention was for Eve to sit around in the Garden of Eden being inferior and keeping the place clean. Hence, instead of providing her with the same sturdy crotch tool as Adam, He gave her nothing but an empty, dank, teeny-tiny little hole. Soon thereafter, God intelligently designed the "episiotomy" childbirth procedure – in order to punish Eve's entire gender for all eternity for her being such a cock-teasing slut.

Tender Feet: In leaving human feet free of paw pads or tough, horse-like hooves, the Lord rendered our solitary means of locomotion highly susceptible to injury – thereby programming us to covet leather, calfskin, and/or snakeskin cowboy boots. Subsequently, man slaughters countless beasts for their hides, simultaneously asserting our iron-fisted dominion over all the earth.

whitehouse.org

[kmc]

What I think is being missed is the consideration that this is not really a matter of where ID should be taught, but of whether ID should be taught at all. Certainly, a significant percentage of Americans believe in Judeo-Christian creationism/ID, but then again, a large percentage of children under the age of 6 believe in Santa Claus, and noone would propose the creation of a class to present a competing theory on where Christmas presents comes from.

Let's forgive the fact that this is a clearly pandering move to an increasingly vocal sector of society, and let's forgive the fact that this does nothing to curtail American anti-intellectualism. Should we, as a nation, spend any time paying any lip service to Judeo-Christian creationism? Our educational system is not thought of as inferior enough that we must spend precious time teaching creation fables because some conservatives in Washington think it deserves equal play with scientific theories?

There are thousands of seminal works in world thought that do not get taught in our public schools for lack of time, training, or resources. To even propose that creationism deserves some sort of special consideration when Richmond Public School students can graduate without reading The Great Gatsby is to propose that there is something intrinsically worthwhile to Judeo-Christian creation myth over other things that are never taught, and what that betrays is a clear lack of educational priorities.

[phil]

Back in 1924, with the help of the telescope atop Mont Wilson in California
(the world largest at that moment), astronomist Edwin Hubble
established the inter-galactic nature of the nebulas.

We started then talking about millions of light-years
for the distance of the Andromeda nebula,
which rendered our own Milky Way and its solar system
absolutely insignificant.

The universe had again expanded tremendously !

Quite a road we have traveled since the time where the universe was
but a very small part of the Mediterranian sea, around Greece.
Alexander the Great pushed its boundaries to The Indies
and Marco Polo to China.

The earth then became a sphere, added the New World
and Magellan got around it.
Galileo, by observing the celestial objects and stripping them of their divine halos, widened our universe to the sun and the planets.
(His bad !!)

Alas, this immense universe revealed itself to be only a small suburb
lost inside an even larger galaxy.
And now, this immense galaxy itself is only a drop among an infinity of other drops, each containing an infinity of stars.
The universe is a shower of galaxies !!
And inside one of its drops in this cosmic rain is our sun,
microscopic, plain, anonymous, driving around in its path
this miserable piece of rock and water that is our planet …

This immensity of the universe and the minuscule banality of the earth
was a hard blow to the vain pretention of Man,
to his illusion he was the unique precious jewel of the universe.

Why indeed is the earth not in the center of the universe ?
After all, it is the craddle of the jewel of the creation itself – the creature-
why then the creator left it in a dark corner instead of putting “it” center stage ?
Why is the earth only a small speck that is not in the center of our solar system,
which is not in the center of our galaxy,
which is not in the center of the universe ?

Could it be possible that there are other habitable planets in the universe
and that God, in its infinite wisdom, didn’t want to favour Earth
instead of one or the other of those planets … ?

But then… those aliens… couldn’t be descendants of “our” Adam and « our » Eve !
God would have then created brothers and sisters to Adam and Eve; how many ??
One, two, ten, three hundred and twenty seven ?
And those other extra-terrestrial Adam and Eve, what is their story :
did the the alian snake succeeded in convincing alien Eve
to take a bite of the apple ?
And what did this apple looked like ??

Indeed, those questions are unbearable and it would be wise
to burn at the stake those who dare ask them.
But those are logical questions we can deduct naturally
from the immensity of the universe.

And finaly maybe, just maybe, a few of those alien Adams and Eves
have resisted the sneaky temptation and still live
in an extra-terrestrial terrestrial paradise as we speak.

Let’s hope so because it is difficult to imagine
that God has fumbled all the worlds he created …

[phil]

EARTH
Technical sheet :

Model : universe.

Options : closed, open or flat;

Fabrication date : - 15billion years.
Composition : 100% natural void
Top speed : 300 000 Km /s.

Manufacturer’s corporate name : unknown.
Manufacturer reasons: unknown.

Preservation : keep over -273°C.
Best before : see under package.

Life expectancy of vital components : max : 126 years.

Instruction manual : many holy books to choose from.

WARNING :

Strictly follow manufacturer’s ten commandments.
In case of non respect, HE reserves the right to prosecute
to the full extent of the (canonical) laws

Competent jurisdiction in case of litigation :

Doomsday.

Complaints, compensations for collateral damages due to the apparatus failure (earthquakes, floods, cosmic collisions, etc) :
The distributor is bound to reimburse all expenses
A hundred times over in the “other World”.

Send all inquiries to the Rome agency
That will pass it on.

Garanties down here : none.
Aftersale service : none

WARNING :
Natural product, prone to evolution

Made in heaven © gods united.
All rights reserved.

[Rit]

what?
i think most of you were on the side of evolution anyway.
is there anyone really who thinks intelligent design is a valid concept?

JAC?!

[Rit]

maybe you're thinking that there ought to be a place for faith in modern life. but that's no reason to interject "intelligent design" into the picture. it's arbitrary, self-serving, and expends too much energy on what's basically a selfish egocentric idea, for one thing, by betraying an unpleasant tendency to make final conclusions.

evolution is not a mere theory. it's the barest self-evident observation one can make about nature, with even a bare minimum of fact accumulation at hand. it requires neither a huge leap of the imagination, nor wilful suspension of disbelief to square your own principles (whatever they might be) with it.

[shin]

I think we should start teaching evolution in Church and Sunday School. Provide both ideas to the kids, let them decide for themselves.

[Rit]

that sounds irrational, Shin.

so, yep, perfect

[kmc]

It must be noted that any kind of compromise on this is a victory on the evangelical side. ID and evolution aren't comparable theories. You might as well argue the idea that hell is underground vs the evidence provided by the geological stratum. It's crazy talk as far as any kind of science is concerned. To even teach it in any class in any public school is to grant the idea some sort of legitimacy.

[Rit]

so ID'ers basically agree with evolution, but say that God had a hand in all of it?
i guess i'm being quite kind to it by putting it in those terms, since it implies a semblance of rationality on the part of the ID'ers..

but why have that extra footnote about god in there at all? to pacify a few religionists cozy viewpoints?

to buttress some sort of systemic need to have god in there in the first place? it bends to bureacratic minds everywhere, if you include the god footnote. that's the only thing i can see happening here.

[strat-0]

Well put, Kenny. And Phil, did you write #140? That hit some major notes.

Jac, I hope you don't view this as an affront to your faith - I certainly don't mean it that way at all. I just have no problem at all reconciling faith with science. I don't think every parable or perhaps allegory in religious writings should be taken literally, word for word. The science is clear. To deny it is much like the three "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil" monkeys. That doesn't mean there is anything invalid or "wrong" with the real, underlying message of your faith, though. That's my take on it, anyway.

But the Darwin monkey was funny!

[shin]

The important issues at play on the side of Creationism/ID are two fold: pre-destination/protection and superiority amongst the species. Evolution, at least as far as an abstract concept can do so, essentially nulls the idea that humans are created in God's image and that there's intelligence, or more to the point a being most likely of compassion, guiding our fates. Evolutions suggests that we are simply one of numerous species fighting amongst each other for our places in the world and that there's absolutely nothing looking out after us bags of flesh, that we are on our own.

Which we are. And yet we aren't. Because we have each other, so we should stop looking at the world like children and accept our place and responsibilities and not hope that some invisible father figure will guide us to safety.

The Santa Claus bit was another way of saying what I just said.