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Post by chrisfan on Oct 13, 2005 15:19:46 GMT -5
So that this board can get back to the topic at hand, rather than various posters explanations of why I am evil, I have decided to make it easier to express your hatred for me. Under the Wacko Board section, I've created a thread which is "10 Things I Hate About Chrisfan". On it, I promised to read it and be reminded of how much I suck every time I'm feeling too big for my britches. Please feel free to express all hatred for me over there ... since I"m really not a current event.
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Post by kmc on Oct 13, 2005 16:37:46 GMT -5
Chrisfan, you know you had all that shit coming. Might you consider the fact that, regardless of the fact that CE may basically be in just a lull right now, that all of us (including you) can be better at our interactions in this place?
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Post by chrisfan on Oct 13, 2005 16:44:21 GMT -5
Ken, if ALL of us can better our interactions (and I agree that we can) then why exactly should I be singled out for non-stop shit lists? Can you direct me to where exactly I've done the same to anyone else?
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Post by Galactus on Oct 13, 2005 16:51:23 GMT -5
It's sort of one of those "if you can't find the wierdo on the bus..." kinda things...anyone who said to themselves "I'm not part of the problem, they're not talking about me..." is part of the problem.
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Post by kmc on Oct 13, 2005 16:57:50 GMT -5
Chrisfan, the current venom against you has a lot to do with the way you've carried yourself on this current thread, first by proposing that you will not change your interactions, and then by (very rudely) aggressively standing your ground against mellie (post #51). This became the traditional CE hatefest the moment all of that started.
That being said, I don't think it's all a matter of blaming you or RocDoc. Everyone who currently posts here can be better about this, including Phil, Mantis, shin, and myself. It would be nice, because then, we might just get more diverse viewpoints.
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Post by ScottsyII on Oct 13, 2005 18:41:40 GMT -5
Aren't you starting to pick the pattern yet Chrisfan? Geez, does it have to be beaten into you with a sledgehammer. I didn't appreciate your PM either. Youv'e been blocked.
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Post by chrisfan on Oct 13, 2005 18:54:31 GMT -5
Too bad Scott, because I tried to send you the calmer and more rational PM which I sent to Maarts too. Oh well, nothing I can do about it, is there?
Ken, I'm hoping that this can be one of my last posts on this topic, because quite frankly, it's worn me out. After my last post, I drove home from work, and cut the grass, so I had a lot of time to think about all of this. Here's my honest asessment.
You have said that you think we need a kinder tone around here, as have others, including me. My frustrations with the CE boards began earlier in the Summer. Some if it I expressed on the boards, some of it I expressed privately to others, and some of it I kept to myself. I suggested some changes I thought may help, and I worked to make some changes in myself. I recognized that there were some debates which were just not worth entering, and sometimes that it was better to just walk away than to continue one. I worked to make an honest to goodness change in the way I was posting and the way I was expressing myself. Was I perfect in it? Of course not! But I was making the effort. On at least one occasion, one of the people who had strayed from CE discussions because of the tone even mentioned noticing a change in me, and I really really appreciated it. It felt good to know that my efforts were paying off. To some degree, they made me a bit burned out with the place, but I found other places to have CE discussions, and so it wasn't that big of a deal. I could participate here when it made sense, and go other places when that made sense.
So then this thread starts, and my name is one of very few which is thown out as a problem. all the sudden, the changes I had made didn't really matter. Not only that, but people who don't even frequent this particular board started in on the hate fest. I was angry. Very angry. Here I was, trying to make an honest change, and I was basically being told "Doesn't matter - you didn't used to be that way, so you still suck". Over the past few months, I have been called a nazi on more than one occasion. I have been accused of being a controlling tyranicl bitch, and I've been the brunt of all sorts of crap. I've tried to ignore it. On rare occasion, I've gotten defended or backed up by someone (which has all been appreciated) but it hasn't come often ... especially considering that most of what I was lambasted for I was ASKED to do, and it lasted for only one day and didn't happen again.
So forgive me if I'm not all that gung ho to jump and adjust everything about myself because of people who refuse to let go of a grudge. It seems to me that it would make much much more sense to put my energy and effors into the relationships I have with people who do care about me, do respect me, and do give me a chance than it does with the people who are going to knock me down no matter what.
Finally, Shin, Mantis, Ken, Jac, Scott, and Maarten - I know that you guys don't like me. I get it, and I get every reason that you don't. It's all come in loud and clear, so there is truly no need to continue it. You guys believe, rightfully so, that I go over the line in expressing myself sometimes. Well let me assure you, when it's coming from a whole team of you, it doesnt' sound any better than when it's coming from just one.
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Post by ScottsyII on Oct 13, 2005 19:03:21 GMT -5
Yes, after I asked you not to PM me anymore, so I didn't bother reading it. Get it? Further proof you don't even bother listening to the simplest of instructions.
Thanks for the last paragraph of that post. At least you are being honest with us. As far as repairing any respect I might have for you, thats long gone.
And please don't PM me again. The block user function isn't working, unfortunately.
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Post by kmc on Oct 13, 2005 19:09:27 GMT -5
I don't dislike you, Chrisfan. If you've noticed, I don't discuss things with people I dislike. I dislike RocDoc. But I am working on that too.
Seriously, I think we need you on these boards. Do you realize that part of the reason I am asking you to tone it down a bit is because I value your contributions, and would rather hear them on a consistent basis than to have all this shit bickering every day?
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Post by chrisfan on Oct 13, 2005 19:13:22 GMT -5
That's fine Ken ... but when I do tone it down, you still point to me as a problem. So what exactly is my motivation in complying with your wishes? You' don't seem to even acknowledge it when it happens? So can you at least appreicate why it comes across as more of a grudge match then an honest request?
Bottom line - if you kick a dog enough times, no matter how good that dog wants to be, it is eventaully going to quit fetching your paper, and will attack instead.
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Post by kmc on Oct 13, 2005 19:28:23 GMT -5
Sigh.
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Post by ScottsyII on Oct 13, 2005 19:33:13 GMT -5
Bottom line - if you kick a dog enough times, no matter how good that dog wants to be, it is eventaully going to quit fetching your paper, and will attack instead.
Which is why so many people dislike you, exactly.
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Post by strat-0 on Oct 13, 2005 19:47:08 GMT -5
After Kenny started this thread, I thought it might be a positive discussion, and it has been, on the parts of some. But I find the stubbornness on the parts of some and the dog-piling on the parts of others disappointing. It's frustrating to me that even with the (meager) controls that I have, I can't do anything about this. Perhaps people should keep in mind that this is CE, after all, and a much milder and toned down version than the one we knew at RS at that. If you want great fraternity, friendship, and camaraderie, try Top 10, Bared Souls, Kat's Time Zone, even General Threads, or any of the other other readily available boards. Even without personal insults and flaming (which has been minimal or at least mild in this thread), CE is not for the faint of heart. People are going to vehemently disagree with you! If you take all the teeth out of it, it would be pretty boring, wouldn't it? I'm going to go way out on a limb and express my opinion that Mellie overreacted a bit here. That's her prerogative, but I still wish she would reconsider - she is such a nice lady and we need her here! I also think that some are being a little unfair to Chrisfan. I feel like it's my fault because the first day she was CE moderator, I had the day off and slept in - by the time I went online, the shit had already hit the fan - something I should have anticipated from the way things were going leading up to it. I left her twisting in the breeze. I'm sorry for that, Chris. I wish we could get some input from some of the cooler heads around here... We do have some, right?  This is from an email I sent to a friend early today: I'm about ready to hand the keys to the forum over to somebody else - I'm sick to death of it. Some people seem to want CE to be something it never was, and that would be great - I'm all for it. But who is going to 'police' and 'control' these people? Sure as shit not ME! They have to do it themselves, and all it takes is one to derail it. Everybody wants to bitch about it and then turn around and contribute to the hostile atmosphere. I'm just about done with it. |
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Post by maarts on Oct 13, 2005 20:09:36 GMT -5
I don't think CE is the most important board here.
Once we realise it is just but one board out of a smorgasbord of many, then we start putting things in perspective.
ONE board surely shouldn't be the reason why people are leaving or wanting to leave?
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Post by kmc on Oct 13, 2005 20:24:41 GMT -5
Fuck it. Forget I said anything.
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