Random Top 10 Redux

[RocDoc]

[glow=red,2,300]Lesson One[/glow]

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"

The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.

All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson - To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.


[glow=red,2,300]Lesson Two[/glow]


A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Management Lesson - Bull shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.


[glow=red,2,300]Lesson Three[/glow]


A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Management Lesson -
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut![/color]


This ends your two minute management course.

[Matheus]

Thanks, Mary.

Yeah, so I had a rather small experience today at work which basically sums up the retail world, and honestly the world in general.

I closed up the bathrooms to do a supply check and clean the mirrors. We have this nifty "Caution - Do Not Enter" thing that pulls across and snaps in. So anyway, I walk out to the cart sitting outside the door to grab some toilet paper, and this lady walks up. I had been in the bathroom, and it never takes long cause I don't really clean anything other than the mirror so I told her "it'll be just a minute, mam." She looks at me and says "Well, that's not good enough," and walks off.

Nothing is ever good enough, is it?

I really fucking hate my job, and I can't wait till next Fall when I can afford to go to school again. I decided to finish out my business degree because that's what rules the world. My optimist dream is to work with some ethical, environmentally friendly company, but who knows? I may end up like so many other douchebags and work my ass off so I can have a big ass house, an SUV, and some money left over for a nip and tuck here and there. Yay!

I LIKE TATER TOTS!!!

[luke]

Wow, tunes, that mix was amazing. Saw Cool Blue Halo on there and ripped apart my CD collection looking for Kangaroo or Riley's CanCon mix...found both cases, but neither had the CD inside, so I went through goddamn near my whole collection before I found Riley's mix in a Shins case. All for that one contagious fucking song.

I doubt that made much since, what I just wrote there.

[Mary]

JesusLooksLikeMe said:

Because you're a sucker for a deep voice, some black clothes, and lots of doom-laden imagery involving crows.

Well OK, that's obviously why I find Nick Cave sexually irresistible to begin with - but I was just referring to that very particular picture, absent anything else I happen to know about Mr. Cave. That crazy, gravity-defying shock of black hair on his head, the dark eyes surrounded by eyeliner, the 'i've been doing drugs for 17 straight days' expression on his face, the slightly curled sneering lips, all the gaudy rings on his fingers, his creased forehead, the aura of overwhelming juvenile delinquence..... *drool* Fuck, Anita Lane was a lucky woman.

tunes, that's such an odd coincidence that you were making that mix just as we were all posting lists of womens' name songs... but what a great mix!!! (And I must point out all the overlap between my list and your mix - proving our exquisite taste in music of course )

In the interest of gender parity - because I'm a good feminist, of course! - here are 10 Great Songs Featuring Mens' Names!

1) Sonny's Burning - The Birthday Party
2) Joe the Lion - David Bowie
3) Happy Jack - The Who
4) Papa Won't Leave You, Henry - Nick Cave
5) Joe Bean - Johnny Cash
6) I Am Damo Suzuki - The Fall
7) David Watts - The Kinks
8) Andy's Chest - Lou Reed
9) Johnny B. Goode - Chuck Berry
10) The Ballad of Johnny Burma - Mission of Burma

And a bonus great song featuring both a man and a woman's name:

Johnny Hit and Run Paulene - X

(No, "Jack and Diane" does not qualify as a "good" song!!!)

NP: The Birthday Party - Hits (song: Junkyard)

Cheers,
M

[bowiglou]

another great song with a girls name....I know there is one from Julian cope....."christine" maybe?..and Martha My Dear which is Paul Mac's homage to his pooch!!!!

Beatle songs with girls and boys:

Michelle
Julia
Polytheme Pam
Martha my Dear
Dear Prudence
Mean Mr. Mustard
Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band
For the Benefit of Mr. Kite
Lovely Rita
Bungalow Bill
Dr. Roberts
Girl
Thank you Girl
Please Mr. Postman
Roll Over Beehtoven
Long Tall Sally
Mr. Moonlight
Ballad of John and Yoko
Nowhere Man
Boys
Eleanor Rigby
Taxman






Mary, admittedly that is a rather cool pic of Mr. Cave.....

[PC]

Songs with "Girls" in the title:

Typical Girls - The Slits
Girls On Film - Duran Duran
Girls & Boys - Blur
Beautiful Girls - Van Halen
Some Girls - The Rolling Stones
Girls, Girls, Girls - Jay-Z (as well as a different song by Motley Crue)
Fat Bottom Girls - Queen
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Cyndi Lauper
California Girls - The Beach Boys
Girls - Beastie Boys
Pretty Girls Make Graves - The Smiths
West End Girls - Pet Shop Boys
Bad Girls - Donna Summer

[phil]

- Cinnamon Girl ~ Neil Young
- Catholic Girls ~ Frank Zappa
- Girl of the North Country ~ Bob Dylan / Johnny Cash
- China Girl ~ David Bowie

[tuneschick]

Let's Talk About Girls - Undertones
My Girl - The Temptations
Oh Girl - Paul Young
Big Girls Don't Cry - Four Seasons
Young Girl - Gary Puckett & the Union Gap
Surfer Girl - Beach Boys
Girls Girls Girls - Liz Phair (different from the Jay-Z/Motley Crue songs)
To All the Girls I've Loved Before - Willie Nelson (and Engelbert Humperdink!)

[JesusLooksLikeMe]

Nothing for Lola or Layla?

[bowiglou]

[glow=red,2,300]Gender Neutral Songs[/glow]

Anything by Morrisey
Anything by REM

[maarts]

You could chuck in that category half of the Androgynous Thin White Duke's output then too

[achn2b]

hey, i've been gone a while, trying to limit my time on the computer these days. but what's this thing with mary listing a whiskeytown song? ryan adams? have i ventured into a parallel universe?

[Mary]

Hey achnb,

Nope, you haven't been gone that long!! I haven't suddenly become a Ryan Adams or Whiskeytown fan. It's that I recently made this mix tape called "God and the Devil" where all the songs on side A were about God and all the songs on side B were about the devil, and I was running out of good devil songs for side B when I came across What the Devil Wanted on one of those old Uncut! magazine free CDs, listened to it, and thought it fit in perfectly. I actually quite like that tune, but I'm not about to run out and buy a Whiskeytown album!

Well, once again I'm preparing to fly to Boston. Seems I spend half my life on airplanes these days! I have a big lump in my stomach just thinking about my mom interacting with my boyfriend, but soon the decisive moment will be past and I can at least stop stressing about it!!

I also talked to this guy I'm gonna see in Boston who I haven't talked to in like 10 years, and he was all excited to have a "Newton Highlands reunion" - Newton Highlands is the bloody subway stop where we used to go to buy weed in high school. Dear God - do people never grow up?! I feel way too old to be hanging out at a subway station buying weed from high school kids!!!!!

NP: The Fall - The Wonderful and Frightening World of the Fall (song: Copped It)

Cheers,
M

[luke]

The worst devil song ever has to be "Running With The Devil." I mean, I've nothing against Roth-era VH, but fuck, can you possibly write a more dull, boring, LONG song? It takes effort to write a boring song about the devil, and they sure did it.

I'd make a "Top Boring Songs" list, but most boring songs are just so boring that I don't bother to see what they're titled.

[bowiglou]

Luke.I would like to nominate for most boring song ever:


Kansas--Dust in the Wind

Luke, if you've never heard that song, count yourself lucky!!

Mary, I wish you the best in Boston....I'm sure it will go swimmingly with your parents!!!