Freaks You've Dated

[Ampage]

Hard for me to come up with a freak story since 99.9999% of gay men are freaks but anyhoos. The one I lived with used to do something very strange over the toilet. He would lean over it as if puking, but I think he was finger brushing his teeth........I don't know. I could only make so much out through the keyhole. Later - the only thing I could think of was he didn't want to use a toothbrush because that may cause bleeding and he never knew if he would be sucking some random penis that day.

And peeing in a sink isn't that bad - I remember pooping in a Taco Bell urinal once. Not sure why.

[luke]

I always pee in the trash can at Taco Bell. Haven't used the actual toilet in that place since I got arrested at the one in my hometown for drinking and picking fights in the parking lot.

[maarts]

luke said:

I always pee in the trash can at Taco Bell. Haven't used the actual toilet in that place since I got arrested at the one in my hometown for drinking and picking fights in the parking lot.

Must be rough eh, being arrested in the toilet?

[luke]

Oops, yeah, I should edit that...

It was in the parking lot I got arrested. Bastards.

[phil]

Hard for me to come up with a freak story since 99.9999% of gay men are freaks but anyhoos.

You really should've added
"gay men I PERSONALY KNOW are freaks"
but whatever ... !!

[Ampage]

I do it just to give you something to think about Philly.

[phil]

You only date "freak" gay men from Philadelphia ... ??

[Rit]

haha, what a homo

[sisyphus]

okay kiddies, prepare to laugh:

A couple of years ago I met this guy we'll call "J." J was a fascinating and charismatic weirdo. He was full of ideas and excitingly crazy. He was extremely confident and incredibly direct. He allowed for no detached politeness whatsoever. Nothing slipped by. When I was with him I felt like I was living right up against the skin of something throbbingly real and englulfingly driven. He was very passionate. He was desperate to reach the center of himself and the center of the world. He struggled to master his own inner psychology and find the white point center of meaning.

Then the first few weeks passed by, and I started to realize that there was something strange about him. He plowed through an eighth of maryJ every couple of days, which induced exacerbated and violent character/mood swings, and he was paranoid about the strangest things. He had an ego the size of North America that was constantly burstingwith visions of grandeur. Something was not right. I broke it off, but we remained friends.

Months passed by and more and more secrets were exposed. J was being set up to be the next Lee Harvey Oswald. J was the victim of countless government schemes. The local radio station was trying to mess with J's head by luring him in with good music and then speaking his own thoughts on air. J could not keep his job as a DJ because he went nutso on air, nor could he keep countless jobs after that. He always quit them to escape some mysterious "they." J believed he was a woman, and had tried to cut off his penis with a rubber band and find his womb. J believed he was the product of very complex incestual dramas. Anything that did not make sense to J or flatter his ego was easily worked into a creative complex of conspiracy theories. If ya don't get it yet, J has paranoid schizophrenia.

Here's the fun part. In some of his efforts to cleanse himself and find god/reach enlightenment, J wove some wild adventures. About a year or so ago J decided to walk from Salt Lake City to Robert Smithson's Spiral Jetty, about two and a half hours away by car. He walked all day and made it to Farmington, Utah. There he found a horse pasture, where the 'spirit of the Lord' gave him a vision. He was to ride one of these "geldings" the rest of the way to the Jetty, where he would fast for 40 days. He tried to catch one of the horses without luck. Finally a horse tucked at his shoe laces. This was a signal. He realized he needed to be naked. Alas, this still was not enough. Then he saw the horse trough, and baptized himself in the cold slimy water. Shivering, wet, and naked, he chased the horses around the field for another hour or so. Finally he gave up and called me for a ride back to Salt Lake City.

A couple of weeks ago, J was finally able to gain closure with the Jetty experience he has been longing for. This time he drove. When he got to the Spiral Jetty he stripped naked again, and waded out into the water until it reached his neck. It was 5pm. He stayed in the water until sunrise, despite the fact that it was freezing cold. Luckily all the salt kept it from becoming deadly. He declares that all night long he puked blood and bile, releasing billions of toxins from his body into the water. He said that "the Lord" would not let him get out of the water though he desperately wanted to because of the pain. He said that he "wrestled with an angel" just like good ole' testy Joshua. He feels he's gained some kind of enlightenment. He's alive and as insane as ever.

Jesus crispity christ our minds are fascinating. J is an extreme case, but how different from him do we all imagine that we are? We all weave our explanations for things...construct our magic circles and order our universes around our vain little egos... blappity blah.... What a guy, though, eh?

I almost forgot.... Some tourist at the jetty camped on the beach all night, photographing J in the water... I wish I could have been there to see the guy's face...

[sisyphus]

thorn's a freak, too, but i won't go into that yet cuz we're still dating...

[Rit]

i feel as though that was a road i never took, though i could have, and i'm glad i didn't.
...Frikkin' wierdos out there, eh?

i'll probably become one of those ultra jocks pretty soon, super-intolerant of any wierd shit in people whatsoever. that would be a trip.

[KayJay]

I never dated anyone that was too terribly "freaky", but I certainly did marry some weirdos!

I guess about the strangest fellow I dated was (in all outward appearances) one of the most "normal" and stable men anyone would ever meet. He was a divorced father of two absolutely adorable little girls, and his ex-wife was a great friend. In fact, she introduced me to him! He was a coal miner... a very quiet and mellow man overall. We dated for quite some time (nearly a year and a half) before I realized he was just way too boring for me (I was one wild little gal back in the day!!). I guess the main reason I dated him so long was because of the free drugs.

After I stopped seeing him, I was sitting down with the kids, watching the news one evening, and a story came on about a double drug related murder . It appears that one guy owed another guy a shit load of money on a coke deal and didn't pay up. After several not-so-nice warnings to pay "or else" the dealer decided to do something drastic. He and a cohort snatched the guy and two others that were with him in his house. They drove them way out into the woods and beat the hell out of them. They then stabbed them all repeatedly, took the clothes, money, and identification from the three bodies, and buried them in shallow graves in the woods. The killers left.

Several hours later, around 3:30 am, a car was driving near the area, the man on his way to work at the coal mine. Alongside the road was a very dirty naked man with blood all over him, trying to walk, but stumbling and crawling, getting back up to walk... The driver stopped. Since this was pre everyone-has-a-cell-phone days, all he could do was put the poor man in the car with him and drive him to the nearest hospital. The man survived and told the story of what had happened and why, giving the names of the men who had tried to kill him... the men that had successfully killed his two friends. Ironically, the surviving man was the man who owed the money to the drug dealer, and his innocent friends had died.

The report then showed pictures of the suspects, giving their names, etc. One of the men was the nice man I had dated for so long. They caught him and the other guy, and the last I heard they were both still in prison for two counts of first-degree murder, one count of attempted murder, and several drug charges.

That was a pretty creepy moment in my life, when I saw his picture on TV, being the drug dealer and murderer. Who would ever have thought that such a "nice" man would be so opposite of what he appeared. Scary.

[Ryosuke]

sisyphus said:

thorn's a freak, too

Yep.

[Kensterberg]

sisyphus said:

thorn's a freak, too ...

This is news? Here I thought that ThoRny was a paragon of virtue and normalcy! Just read his posts, are these the rantings of a freak?

Um, nevermind. ;D

[samplestiltskin]

My ex-roommate and good friend is paranoid schizophrenic. I feel so terrible for him because he can't get a job (I got him an interview at a place I worked and walked through the room to get something while he was interviewing, and he was ranting on and on about "crooked management" at his last job and how they tried to fuck him) and every day I get to hear some outlandish tale of trouble he's gotten himself into. He cut up his drivers license and credit card, but doesn't remember doing it, so he's convinced someone has stolen his identity, PLUS he can't drive. He's going insane alone in his apartment, and it's hard to stay friends with him when he calls twice a day and won't let you go and he needs rides everywhere... very sad.