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Post by wayved on Jan 19, 2007 0:22:33 GMT -5
Ryo-its all good. Is she nice? She may have been polluting your air the whole time:
I really dont like to discuss farts man. I hate the word FART cos it just isnt right. Its like discussing the shape of your shit.
BUT I went to a drug store with a woman I was romantically involved with and the cashier was ringing us up. He was a young guy with a horrible case of acne....There was this scent that was so foul and unbelievable--i thought he forgot to use deodorant or something. To this day I cannot remember smelling anything more foul......He was talking to me and I just nodded and my face turned green and shit. I was thinking Hurry up you dumbass! TAKE A SHOWER! Im no snob but it was unbearable.
I take the items quickly and rudely...We get to the fresh air outside and she says--"Man it sure did smell bad in there" Im like "No shit! Dude needs soap" She said "I farted. That was me!" and cracked up laughing. She wanted to see how my uptight ass would deal with it I suppose. After all the time I spent going outside, etc etc. that shit just isnt sexy man. Intimate? Yes. Its funny now but at the time I wanted to puke all over her. I just could not beleieve that she could make that kind of lousy death knell smell.
All the time I spared her by going outside if i ever had to let one out! It was my upbringing I guess....I remember my mom getting pissed at my dad on those long car trips for no warning before he did what he had to do. It was serious shit where they wouldnt talk for days! Why did I share this?
Mary: that was a funny story. Those judges shouldve have awarded you the gold straight up. You didnt even have to finish the routine.
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Post by Ryosuke on Jan 19, 2007 2:40:10 GMT -5
I love how wayved says he doesn't like talking about farts, and then spends three paragraphs doing just that I don't have a problem with girlfriends farting in front of me, btw. Kind of cute. But I don't know - if I marry someone and the wife grows fat and ugly, my opinion on the farting might change.
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Post by dolly on Jan 19, 2007 5:16:10 GMT -5
Where's the romance, Ryo? I'm British. I don't talk about things like that.
LMFAO off at Mary's gymnastics story though. Classic.
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Post by limitdeditionlayla on Feb 8, 2007 19:25:23 GMT -5
But I don't know - if I marry someone and the wife grows fat and ugly, my opinion on the farting might change
My ex said that to me, too. Farting is only ok when a cute girl does it. Well.
Mary's fart gymnastics story was great.
When a guy farts near me my first reaction is always to hold up my arms up over my head - its a kneejerk move brought about by years of having every single boyfriend subject me to the dreaded Dutch Oven.
WHY is that so funny to guys? I mean, I get why its funny. The first couple times its even cute & maybe furthers intimacy. But not every day. Keep the Dutch Oven a sometimes thing, that way it stays unexpected & funny.
Otherwise, guys farting doesn't bother me. Its an autonomic function in men, like breathing & looking at other women's tits.
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Post by limitdeditionlayla on Feb 8, 2007 19:26:29 GMT -5
Don't let Dolly fool you though. The Brits fart like its going out of fashion. Only over there its more refined, "passing wind".
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Post by samplestiltskin on Jul 8, 2007 13:11:30 GMT -5
dutch oven? i'm trying to figure out what that might entail. but not trying too hard. my stomach doesn't feel very good.
so i'm in portland, i ended up living at my friend's house, the one who promised to meet me at the train station and hang out with me while i'm here. i am really, super happy living here. that's the problem, like, too happy i think.
i've met the guy a couple times before i came out here, he's a friend of my ex's. well basically, there is incredible chemistry and we're both trying not to fall in love. him mainly because i'm leaving in three weeks and me because he has this strange ex-or-not-so-ex?-girlfriend thing in full swing right now and i don't want to be That Girl.
it sucks. i'm not even asking for advice really, i just sort of wanted to tell someone. all my friends know him AND my ex so i don't really feel comfortable being like "oh yeah, T. and i hooked up and the sex is spectacular and he's the most magically compatible person i've ever come across!"
we're both libra. it's like talking to a slightly older, mumbly version of myself.
i came out here to see whether i want to move here permanently, and i do, i've decided. he said if i do, and if things calm down a little more with his sort-of-ex-girlfriend (he cares about her very much and doesn't want to hurt her, even though they've already broken up... she just doesn't want to let go and man, i can't blame her) then he wants to date me. i'm just in so much chaos in my head right now, being in a new place, barely know anybody, having to decide about moving, being in the middle of this bizarre love triangle, adjusting to a new medication, and trying to reconcile just where in the hell in this world i belong. i feel a bit rootless and it scares me sometimes. i'd like to believe that there's someone out there who would never want to leave me, never cheat, never betray my trust, etc etc, but i've sort of just given up expecting that from anyone. the second i begin a relationship, i'm already making subtle, strategic moves to ensure a painless break-up (i.e. don't get close to their family, assume they will cheat and stay mentally prepared for it, no joint ANYTHING) which is kind of sad, but also saves me from heartbreak.
this guy, again, i really want to believe he is sweet and adores me and would never purposely hurt me. but there's that defense mechanism that says "it seems too good to be true, so don't even go there honey."
i am having lots of fun outside the bedroom too though, haha. portland is a really amazing place. people could not be more approachable, just open to talk to whoever and be friendly. very laidback, a little slower-paced than i've been used to, but all in all, yeah, i'd move here even without T. thrown into the bargain.
gonna go bike to the river and read i think. what the hell am i babbling about in this funny little coffeeshop? i need fresh air! later party people.
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Post by Thorngrub on Jul 10, 2007 14:36:45 GMT -5
Put that tongue back in yer mouth
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Post by samplestiltskin on Jul 13, 2007 19:29:35 GMT -5
oh, what are you gonna do about it? stare mournfully at me until i give in and retract it?
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Post by samplestiltskin on Oct 11, 2007 21:45:02 GMT -5
man, this is really my week.
so i just got in a car accident. not thinking too clearly, so i wonder if i could some advice from someone who did NOT just survive the impact of a minivan hurtling into the side of their little '88 hatchback.
the facts are these:
i think it was my fault. i stopped at the stopsign, it was getting dark, i didn't look all that closely, and as i was moving through the intersection yah, i get hit full-on my passenger door. they were on a one-way street going pretty fast.
so we get out. i'm a bit in shock. not wearing my seatbelt, which is unusual these days (i'm a big scaredy-cat -- i'm convinced i'm going to die in a car accident.) so i'm a little dazed. their front bumper is a little scuffed and dented but they don't seem too worried. a nice hispanic couple, on their way to see their daughter in the hospital. we exchange insurance info and drivers license info. don't call the cops. don't really see a need. we're all okay; figured we'd just leave it up to the insurance companies or whatever.
he and his wife seem genuinely nice. he proposes to find out how much it will cost to fix up his bumper a little and let me know in the morning before we call our insurance. which i think was really nice, but again, i'm a little out-of-it so i'm not sure. is this nice of him?
my car is drive-able. huge dent on the side door, probably some body alignment issues. the blinker still works. no grinding on the tire or anything. can't quite close the passenger door but i put a tarp in to keep the rain out and it does lock. (the power locks still work.. my car is amazing.) i'm not sure what to do honestly. i've been thinking about scrapping my car anyway and just getting a bus pass and roughing it in this very mass-transit-friendly city. i have a bike. could definitely manage with a little patience in getting to work and back on the bus.
but i'd miss my car a lot. it's drive-able. if i call my insurance and tell them, i'm sure they'll raise my rates which i can't afford just now. i have no idea how much this guy will tell me it will cost to fix his car.
. . . .
i am so confused. help???
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layla
Streetcorner Musician
Posts: 56
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Post by layla on Oct 11, 2007 23:38:40 GMT -5
Its better to try & settle this without involving insurance companies - besides jacking up your premium next year, they'll bill you for excess. BOTH of you, so its better for the other guy if you pay for it privately. Samps, ask the guy to get three quotes if he can, and offer to pay for the least expensive (or, if he starts to act like an a-hole, for the second-least expensive). That way, he gets his car fixed & neither of you have to pay excess or lose benefits with the insurance companies. Good luck!!! And I hope your back feels better.
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Post by samplestiltskin on Oct 12, 2007 9:24:58 GMT -5
thank you layla! i really, really needed to hear a clear perspective on this. i'm nervous about talking to the guy but i do think he's a nice person and will ask him if he can get another couple quotes, unless the one he gives me this morning is like.. under $200 i guess. gonna drive my car to work in a minute. i can't believe i've become one of those doofuses driving around with a tarp/duct tape/electrical tape plastered over their vehicle. sigh. time to get a bus pass maybe. i'm a little tired of everyone in this city using me for a ride. nobody has a car here but me.
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Post by phil on Oct 12, 2007 10:44:56 GMT -5
Samp ... Don't want to be negative but it usualy costs 200.00$ just to get a car in the shop door !
They don't repair bumpers ... They just replace the whole thing !
My sister, who lives in Montréal, is the only one who has a car among her friends and she now charges a few bucks when people ask for rides to the grocery store.
She got tired of being taken for a taxi !
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Post by samplestiltskin on Oct 12, 2007 11:55:48 GMT -5
yeah, it's like $60/mo to get a bus pass here so i'll probably end up doing that shortly. costs $30 every time i fill my tank anyway. i just don't know if i want to quit paying insurance on my car entirely because i would like to use it for trips to to the beach or camping etc occasionally. but insurance is expensive to keep for just a couple days a month of use. maybe i'll just be another person without a car mooching off the one unlucky soul in this city who does have a car. karma bites.
kind of bracing myself for this guy's estimate. there's a bit of a language barrier because he doesn't speak that great English and my Spanish also kind of sucks. but we'll get it figured out. i think it'll take him a while to get a few estimates so i have time on my side hopefully. i have to get moved at the end of the month, plane tickets and freight expenses to get my shit out of my friend's garage and into my new house here, rent, all that. good thing i'm making $14/hr.
end pointless vent. i think i'm okay. thanks for the advice layla.
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JACkory
Struggling Artist
Posts: 167
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Post by JACkory on Jul 23, 2013 20:10:09 GMT -5
Lately I've developed a real serious appreciation for Howie Mandel.
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Post by Thorngrub on May 9, 2020 15:31:26 GMT -5
i NEED sOME gODDAM aDVICE. hOW DO YOU gET THE cAPS lOCK oFF? SORRY iT'S bEEN AwHILE
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