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Post by riley on Oct 8, 2005 9:02:22 GMT -5
Some guy handed me this small flyer the other day when I was walking from the office for a coffee.
It's good comedy in my estimation, but mostly I was pissed becauuse I thought he was handing out flyers to advertise a cool gig or something that would help with enhancing penis size.
No dice. Just redemption tips.
1. You Need To Be Saved
2. You Cannot Save Yourself
3. Jesus Has Already Provided For Your Salvation
4. Jesus Will Enable You To Overcome Temptation
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Post by riley on Oct 8, 2005 9:04:17 GMT -5
I like the proactive approach employed in #3. In the company I work for, Jesus would get a promotion for avoiding reactivity and encouraging an "ahead of the curve" mind set.
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Post by luke on Oct 8, 2005 9:07:53 GMT -5
Do people really hand out penis enlarging flyers, or is that just spammers? Because I don't know how I'd feel if some guy handed me something about penises.
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Post by maarts on Oct 8, 2005 9:08:31 GMT -5
I don't get this though...isn't succumbing to Christianity not a form of temptation in itself?
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Post by riley on Oct 8, 2005 9:11:36 GMT -5
Sort of like wishing for being saved from salvation.
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Post by riley on Oct 8, 2005 9:17:15 GMT -5
Anyway, I emailed Jesus yesterday and told him next time one of his boys hands me a flyer, it better be for a Broken Social Scene show or something. He said fair game and that he was down with BSS. He also mentioned he didn't sanction the flyers and someone will "lose their fucking job for that".
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Post by Rit on Oct 8, 2005 9:50:40 GMT -5
you should have kneed him in the groin
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Post by riley on Oct 8, 2005 12:05:05 GMT -5
Nah. I ouwl dhave actually had a chat with him if I hadn't moved along before I realized what he had handed me.
Weird Jesus people who hand shit out as part of some sort of recruitment effort are fun to talk with if you have the time. It's like watching a Kids In The Hall episode, but without all the funny gay actors.
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Post by Rit on Oct 8, 2005 12:11:05 GMT -5
the gayness is still there, its just subliminal
behind all the repressed 'saved' talk
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Post by kmc on Oct 8, 2005 12:19:34 GMT -5
Even worse are the fucking people who try to come into your house and explain shit to you. As if Jesus would spread his message through some dumb shit who can't appreciate the idea of personal space.
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Post by luke on Oct 8, 2005 19:18:43 GMT -5
Or some dumb shit who goes biking around town in a black suit in the middle of the fucking summer. With a big silly white helmet.
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Post by rockkid on Oct 8, 2005 21:40:55 GMT -5
White helmet eh, must be on the special bus.
Seriously though you can spot the j hoes coming a mile away. You would think they’d learn a little stealth by now.
Hari Krishnas used to be a riot in the 70’s though.
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Post by shin on Oct 9, 2005 14:16:15 GMT -5
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Post by Adam on Oct 9, 2005 14:44:19 GMT -5
I remember, during college, arriving at Spanish class early and finding this card on every desk:  I've still got it for nostalgic reasons (i.e., very funny & reminder that some Christians are fucking stupid). Well, I use it as a bookmark. |
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Post by Thorngrub on Oct 10, 2005 11:12:58 GMT -5
That card says it all, as far as I'm concerned:
That its all about "avoiding potential badness" rather than embracing a spiritual positivity.
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