|
|
Post by samplestiltskin on Apr 19, 2005 15:45:53 GMT -5
lithium rules! i have never felt so "normal" and happy so often. it's difficult to keep it at a therapeutic level in your body but dude, it sure is making my life easier. seretonin - it's a beautiful thing.
|
|
|
|
Post by RocDoc on Apr 22, 2005 18:14:59 GMT -5
How the heck is therapeutic level measured? Presumably not by body weight, like x g Lithium per y kg body weight....mechanism can't possibly be that straightforward... Metabolism factors in, then hormonal changes, enzymes...so I'd imagine likely it ends up being pretty complex: '5 mg feels good keeps me from flying too high/low' ...and in the event you don't hit a dosage, you simply up and/or decrease the dosages? Diarize the effects? Like people do with BP medications? I also don't imagine dose gets locked permanently into 'optimal' either because body chemistry does alter as time goes on... You've got to be onto your 'moods' pretty actively and self-assessing yourself as accurately as you can. May you always clearly see the benefits there, samples...  |
|
|
|
Post by samplestiltskin on Apr 25, 2005 16:30:32 GMT -5
Okay, a lithium rant: They measure it first thing in the morning before you eat or take your dose, with a blood draw. I forget what the levels should be -- when they drew my blood two weeks ago my lithium levels were toxic. Apparently they'd miscalculated my weight and I hadn't been drinking enough water. It's very dehydrating, since it is a salt. So now I'm taking a slightly lower dose. First they pulled me completely off of it because the levels were so high. When you miss a dose you're just supposed to take the next regularly schedule dose, unless you remember relatively soon. I take it twice a day, 300mg total. I am seeing things very clearly, finally. I'm able to see things from outside my poor skewed defective perspective, from a more realistic p.o.v. Even though I still want to have the same reactions I always have to people and things, it's easier to fight those reactions with meds. With education (therapy) on WHAT I should be doing instead reacting violently and being all ultra-sensitive and consequently swinging every which way all the time, plus meds flattening out those swings, I feel pretty well-equipped to be happy. I have nothing to complain about in my life, aside from the standard job bullshit and an asshole who beats my dog 8 hours away from where I live. I try and remember that every day; I have nothing bad in my life. Things are going good. Lots of people care very much about me here, I'm making money, I have my own place, a nice boyfriend who respects me and puts up with any weirdness I go through.... Dude. I thought I would miss my unhappiness, that it was ME and I could never feel anything truly except sadness and strangeness. I would give anything to never go back there again. I can't believe how sick I was, and I'm all proud of myself for pulling my OWN self out of it even though I thought I'd never do it. Disgusting, isn't it.  |
|
|
|
Post by RocDoc on Apr 25, 2005 18:53:21 GMT -5
Yeah! Disgusting!
Honestly, it's wonderful to hear this from you...
YESssss!
|
|
|
|
Post by Meursault on Jun 12, 2005 21:03:46 GMT -5
So i'm kinda worried about my father, since his and my mothers seperation he's kinda become insular (which he always was sorta) it's hard to tell whats going on in his head. He seems depressed to me, though he won't say anything cept that he gets sad once in awhile. I don't know how i can pick him. Any advice?
|
|
|
|
Post by samplestiltskin on Jun 12, 2005 21:48:35 GMT -5
Get him a puppy?
I don't know, I don't think there's anything you could really do to help him. He's got to get through it on his own and he'll decide when to do that. Just my humble opinion..
|
|
|
|
Post by strat-0 on Jun 12, 2005 21:55:17 GMT -5
Take him to a game?
|
|
|
|
Post by Meursault on Jun 12, 2005 23:45:56 GMT -5
.....there are no games up here, and i have no wheels (of my own, and i'm poor.)
This past year (since september) has been difficult, stressful, and chock full of growing pains. I've struggled to make ends meet 90% of the time, and my family's dynamic has very unexpectedly shifted. I feel like i'm in a good place "spiritually" but I feel totally helpless with some things, and hard pressed with others. Now I know life is hard, and will hand me many challenges but it's just been a doozy for the past 9 1/2 months. I haven't had a SERIOUS relationship with a girl since highschool, and have a hard time keeping myself from acknowledging all those generalisations about women that seem so apparent. Seems like the worlds turned into Elenor Rigby, or i'm just finally seeing it that way. I wonder how many people are brainwashed, and stuck in their ways for better or worse. I'm not saying i have a clean slate, i feel unmotivated and festering. I don't smoke as much dope as I use to, i drink more though i'm thinking about cutting that out. I feel this though would just alienate me from all my adult peers 23 and up, hah.
This doesn't necessarily beg for a response, more or less to get stuff off my chest. I'll let you know i'm not quite cracking up either, just in that grey kinda state and swaying back and forth.
|
|
|
|
Post by Ampage on Jun 13, 2005 9:21:10 GMT -5
Sounds like its time to whip up a Xanax smoothie.
|
|
|
|
Post by Meursault on Jun 13, 2005 9:31:02 GMT -5
Xanax beer smoothie. MMm beer.
|
|
|
|
Post by Ampage on Jun 13, 2005 11:25:42 GMT -5
Actually Xanax goes much better with a nice red like a Pinto Noir or Shiraz. Take two and have a good half bottle on hand, put something good but mellow on the tube and prepare to melt into the sofa my man.
|
|
|
|
Post by samplestiltskin on Jun 15, 2005 17:12:14 GMT -5
That's cool, I'm pretty much in the same place as you Shaner. My head is healthier but I'm kind of stagnant and it's becoming more and more apparent how many other people are too. I'm working on getting ANGRY about stuff for once, about how so many people allow themselves to be fed nonsense and fear and be content to stay vegetables without questioning anything... but i'm pretty tired, and disgusted with myself for being so. Everyone I know seems to be sort of floating in this spell of doldrums, whether they can put a name to it or not. I don't smoke pot anymore and I drink a lot more too (cos there's no other vice I can have!) I don't know. I'm pretty much hoping for the apocalypse to come soon, or if not, I'm relying on Burning Man to wake me up. Hang in there Shaner. There's moments of inspiration, tho it seems rare that I "wake up" anymore and have that sense of heightened awareness and brain activity. So rare that if I happen to get inspired it pretty much feels like drugs. Sad. |
|
|
|
Post by Meursault on Jun 15, 2005 21:41:05 GMT -5
thing is i feel better off drugs then i do on them these days. When I smoke dope i just want to go hide.
|
|
|
|
Post by samplestiltskin on Jun 16, 2005 10:47:06 GMT -5
It's weird, I know a lot of people that just suddenly.. change somehow, their body or brain chemistry, and pot doesn't work the same for them anymore. You almost become "allergic" to it; instead of being a relaxing fun thing it turns into a paranoia-laden nightmare. I have no idea how but I know like four people personally who've had that happen. Usually it seems to go along with a life change, but the types of changes don't seem to correlate and don't make sense to me.
I miss drugs but the come-down is so harsh for me that it's not even worth it. Coke instigates depression. Ecstacy makes me fuckin suicidal and mentally exhausted for a week. Tweak is just crappy. Pot makes me paranoid and apathetic. Alcohol makes me do stupid things I regret heartily later (like striking up friendships with people I would normally beat back with a stick.) It's just no fun anymore.
This is the generation of jaded apathy. We must instigate revolution!! Sorry I've been watching the Mad Max movies all week and I'm ALL about the apocalypse now. I finally got the boyfriend to admit he doesn't want kids NOW, just after the apocalypse hits and intelligent people will need to repopulate the earth.
|
|
|
|
Post by Ampage on Jun 16, 2005 11:12:58 GMT -5
Glad your feeling better Samples, drugs can be a good thing sometimes.
And I am in complete agreement with the pot thing. It went from a fun way to relax to a total panicky uneasiness. Since I stopped smoking cigarettes three years ago I haven’t touched that either. (smoking is smoking in my book)
|
|
