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Post by Meursault on Aug 25, 2004 10:08:25 GMT -5
Don't drink to much now.
Ekul: That cucumber story was classic. I'm looking forward to Sunday or whenever you recover.
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Post by tuneschick on Aug 25, 2004 10:11:48 GMT -5
Oh my gosh, I didn't mean to give the impression that I was the hostage! Whoa, that'd be insane. But I keep putting myself in that poor girl's shows this morning - just like me, she was walking to work, probably thinking of all the stuff she had to do today... and next thing you know, some psycho's got a gun to her head. Wow.
Oh and Mary - I really meant to mention that I didn't think you were talking about me or my relationship!! I just left that out in my non-stop rambling, sorry! I definitely saw your comment that not all relationships that started young turned out badly... I was just too absent-minded to acknowledge it.
It's really strange, because there seems to be a string of relationships breaking up around me right now. One of Steve's oldest friends called him the other day to tell him that he and his girlfriend of TEN YEARS just split... another called to say that his wife of seven years cheated on him and they've split.
And my best friend from high school got engaged at Christmas, and then her fiance left to work in India for two years, with the intentions that she would join him in July to teach. Which she did... only to find out that he met another girl while he was there and had been seeing her. So my friend emailed me yesterday, just totally lost... she loves her new job in India and is on a one-year contract (she's only been there a month), and she loves the people she's meeting. But at the same time, she's living with her fiance who is involved with someone he works with, she can't afford to move out on her own, and has no idea if there's any way to work things out with him. It's just this totally insane situation.
Sometimes I'm happy my life is boring.
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Post by luke on Aug 25, 2004 10:12:01 GMT -5
There are actually two cucumber stories- one from 2001, which I think might have been posted on Pet Sounds, as most of the commentary was from Sweet and Angela, and one in 2003, which is better remembered. The party kinda flopped in 2002.
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Post by Meursault on Aug 25, 2004 10:31:46 GMT -5
So girls, I hate to tell you but most men think about banging you before they get to know you in hopes that they like your personality later...the later not being guranteed. While no man is exempt from this, many when looking for something serious get their shit together. My advice for dating men... Don't put out early...even if he is hot and a smooth talker. Wait maybe a month or 2, if your interested in sexual activity at that point, you be the judge. If you have a winning personality and a winning guy, he will ideally care more for you more than just about just sex. Godspeed on this. Don't say things such as "don't hurt me" just after first meeting a guy. You don't want to seem to overly emotional, neurotic, or act like your already a thing. Be chill and flirty, show him your interested, give him some positive affirmations so he knows you want to chat with him. If your a waitress this is hard, cause they'll figure you either like them or want big tips, so for you waitresses be more forward. If the guy is staring at your boobs, and other women, don't say anything, that's our nature, though if it's gross and suggestive you might want to say bye, or make sure your not letting your boobs hang out of your shirt and rubbing his crotch. Hopefully though you can at least find a guy that's a bit more sensitive when your around and doesn't gawk at other ladies. Take your time getting to know a guy, first impressions of men can be tainted by either the mans front of being cool and relaxed, or if he's shy and afraid of rejection. Do NOT talk about exes unless it's funny. Don't dwell on how heartbroken you are, or seem bitter about a past love interest. It's not romantic. Keep things light, optimistic, and "i'm ok, you're ok." Be yourself more often, don't put up your own fronts, just take it as it comes, if your feeling comfortable and can make that apparent to others through your body language and speech ideally the other person will be comfortable and if not well your already learning a lot about them. Don't ask a guy how much he makes. Don't be bossy. Compromise is important. After having dated for a period of time where your comfortable talking about serious issues, make sure to keep communication open, and make sure your on the same page. Try and test men a little bit less too.  Any questions? |
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Post by phil on Aug 25, 2004 10:39:45 GMT -5
A friend was telling me a few weeks ago that whenever she is falling in love, her fear of death becomes much more intense and painful, because she feels like if anything should be able to conquer mortality, it should be love, and when she realizes that in spite of this person she's still going to die by herself when her time comes, she just feels the fundamental loneliness of the human condition all the more painfully.
Your friend is the one who should get "plastered" !!
(as long as she doesn't drink alone ...)
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Post by Mary on Aug 25, 2004 10:45:38 GMT -5
Don't put out early...even if he is hot and a smooth talker. Wait maybe a month or 2, if your interested in sexual activity at that point, you be the judge. Any questions? Yeah....... wait 2 MONTHS? ?? are you kidding? |
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Post by Mary on Aug 25, 2004 10:46:59 GMT -5
I officially really fucking hate how it turns question marks into those stupid faces.
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Post by luke on Aug 25, 2004 10:51:43 GMT -5
Good Lord, Shane, two months?
Girls, make him work for it, but goddamn, if you're really attracted to the guy at all, you'd better stock up on the fun toys before taking Shane's advice.
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Post by Meursault on Aug 25, 2004 10:53:27 GMT -5
Why not wait 2 months?
Actually i was looking at that after I wrote it. But i also included "you be the judge." I just know there are girls (and guys) that put out to early, swept up in the haze of lust and premature love. I mean i'd probably have sex before a month came, but i wouldn't push it i'd use my "judgment." There was a time before when i'd get laid asap, but i've been avoiding that (if it's not understood it won't go beyond that.) Though casual relationships at this point in time are confusing me, because they often turn into bad relationships. Put out whenever you like, but you better make sure the other person is on the same pagel.
Remember, many guys are scum and will have sex with you without knowing if they could be your boyfriend for a long time or not.
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Post by tuneschick on Aug 25, 2004 10:57:42 GMT -5
Two months, really? I mean, I did with S  but it just sort of worked that way - I wasn't really counting the days on my calendar! On that note though Shane, a word for men (taken from a recent experience of a friend, and the experience of several other friends through the years)... don’t try and get laid and then never talk to her again because you ‘don’t like girls who’ll sleep with a guy on the first date' or 'if she jumps into bed with me that fast, she must be jumping into bed with everyone.' You're either OK with a girl who does this or you're not. If you're not, keep your dick in your pants. If you are, get laid and shut your mouth. Make up your mind. End rant. |
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Post by Mary on Aug 25, 2004 10:59:24 GMT -5
You know Shane, sometimes girls also just wanna get laid and don't need it to turn into a long-term relationship. I'm just saying this because, shit, you write as if all women are just desperately trying to start lengthy, intense, serious romantic relationships, and the minute they have sex, they become so intensely attached to some guy that they are going to be horribly hurt if things don't become serious. Sooooooo not true. We've all been in that "fuck, all I really want right now is to get laid" situation. I'm just saying this because I get vaguely annoyed with these totally dichotomous portrayals of the two genders, like men are these sexually ravenous beasts who only care about their dicks and will fuck 'em and dump 'em with wild abandon, and women are these clingy needy pathetic emotionally fragile dolls who need to guard their clitoris like the fucking Hope Diamond lest they be shattered by loveless sex. No no no no no no. Sometimes we all just want a good fuck!!!!
And with that, I have to go meet a friend, so adios.
Cheers,
M
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Post by Mary on Aug 25, 2004 11:00:47 GMT -5
oh and may i also just say "amen" to tunes' last post as well - fucking lame-ass double standards.... ok, toodles (i promise never to say "toodles" again) |
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Post by tuneschick on Aug 25, 2004 11:04:19 GMT -5
Er, perhaps I should clarify my own post after Mary's...
Nothing wrong with a night of sex and nothing else. But I guess I've just always sorta thought that that's something that needs to be understood beforehand. If one person is just looking for a fast hump and the other (man OR woman - I've seen it happen to both) is looking for something more, things aren't such fun.
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Post by Meursault on Aug 25, 2004 11:04:47 GMT -5
On that note though Shane, a word for men (taken from a recent experience of a friend, and the experience of several other friends through the years)... don’t try and get laid and then never talk to her again because you ‘don’t like girls who’ll sleep with a guy on the first date' or 'if she jumps into bed with me that fast, she must be jumping into bed with everyone.' You're either OK with a girl who does this or you're not. If you're not, keep your dick in your pants. If you are, get laid and shut your mouth. Make up your mind. End rant. I figure it's ok to sleep with someone, one night stands or whatnot, as long as you don't mislead them into think there will be a relationship. From my experience i've told girls before sleeping with them when i've had no intentions of getting into anything serious, while they seem to understand this they often wanted more making me feel like a jerk, when i wasn't being one. I've also did this same thing, finding myself getting attached after the girl had wanted it to go farther, when i do decide to get serious, right after - of course - they lose their interest in me. |
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Post by tuneschick on Aug 25, 2004 11:06:14 GMT -5
That's funny Shane - we posted the same point at the same time. So I agree completely, obviously. |
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?? are you kidding?
but it just sort of worked that way - I wasn't really counting the days on my calendar!