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Post by rockysigman on Oct 2, 2006 13:30:12 GMT -5
I just sent samps a few suggestions for uses for dead babies. Trying to think of a few more. None of them touch on my large cache of dead baby jokes though. If you just want dead baby jokes, well damn, I could go on forever with those.
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Post by Fuzznuts on Oct 2, 2006 13:34:47 GMT -5
I can't believe you would actually kill a baby, Rocky. That's horrible..
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Post by samplestiltskin on Oct 2, 2006 13:36:22 GMT -5
i got one, i got one!
why do babies have soft spots in their heads?
so you can pick up five at a time.
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Post by samplestiltskin on Oct 2, 2006 13:37:14 GMT -5
so what do i win, ken? a piece of land for my baby farm?
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Post by Kensterberg on Oct 2, 2006 13:43:43 GMT -5
Oh shit, I forgot to award a prize to samples ...
[rummaging around ... looking for something ... god I've got to clean up my office ... wasn't that supposed to be filed last week? ... this client was convicted two months ago, WTF? ... okay, gotta have something here ... um ...]
GOT IT! Here ya go samples, your prize for POTD is an acre of former federal wilderness, located somewhere in Colorado, where you can hang out and raise babies to your heart's content.
Just make sure you check with the EPA regarding the environmental damage that all those babies will do ... little buggers are frightfully hard on their surroundings. Just ask any parent/sibling of a one year old.
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Post by rockysigman on Oct 2, 2006 14:02:28 GMT -5
Just for the hell of it...
I'm just cutting and pasting these from one of those Bozo threads a while back. Some of these were from me, and some of them from my dead-baby-joke-brother-in-arms, Skvor.
What do you get when you put a baby in a blender?
Hold on, I'll tell you in a minute.
What's the difference between a dead baby and an onion?
I don't cry when I cut up a dead baby.
How do you make a dead baby float?
Take your foot off it's head
Or
Two scoops of ice cream, one scoop of dead baby
How do you get 100 dead babies into a bucket?
With a blender.
How do you get them out again?
Fritos.
What's Funnier than a dead baby?
Dead Baby in a clown costume.
What's brown and gurgles?
A baby in a casserole.
How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard you throw them.
Why didn't they crucify baby Jesus?
I don't know why they didn't either.
What's the difference between a truck full of dead babies and a truck full of bowling balls?
You can't load the truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
What's red and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
What's worse than finding 5 dead babies in a trashcan?
Finding 1 dead baby in 5 trashcans.
What's more disgusting than a pile of 20 dead babies?
A pile of 20 dead babies with one live one at the bottom trying to eat its way out.
What's more disgusting than that?
He made it.
What's more fun than attaching a dead baby to a ceiling fan?
Stopping it with a shovel.
What is red and sitting in the corner?
A baby with a plastic bag on it's head.
What is black and sitting in the corner?
The same baby, a few weeks later.
What is red, bubbling and tapping on glass?
A baby in a microwave.
Oh man.
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Post by samplestiltskin on Oct 2, 2006 14:32:21 GMT -5
Excellent..
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Post by skvorisdeadsorta on Oct 5, 2006 14:58:42 GMT -5
I would chime in on this but I fear expulsion!
You guys rock!
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Post by Kensterberg on Oct 10, 2006 20:09:08 GMT -5
Kool gets today's award for this brain-tickler of a puzzle from the worst albums by great bands board: Chinese-torture dilemma: You're locked in a room, gun pointed to your head. You HAVE to choose which album to listen to for 24hrs on repeat. St. Anger or REM's Around the Sun? PS. "Pull the trigger" is not an option. ;D I don't have an answer ... can I cover my ears and just go la-la-la-la-la for 24 hours? |
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Post by Kensterberg on Oct 10, 2006 20:10:13 GMT -5
And for your prize, Kool you win ... your own copies of St. Anger AND Around the Sun!
I know I'd be happy to send you my copy of the latter ...
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Post by kmc on Oct 10, 2006 20:31:28 GMT -5
I love this.
Q: How do you make a dead baby float?
A: Two scoops of ice cream, one scoop of dead baby
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Post by limitdeditionlayla on Oct 13, 2006 21:00:58 GMT -5
What's red and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion
Thats so wrong & yet so funny. Well done.
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Post by Kensterberg on Oct 17, 2006 23:50:54 GMT -5
Back after a bunch of sick days ... it's the Post of the Day! Courtesy of our friend in the far east, Ryo. but I love digging monster carrots that taste great !! There is no such thing as a carrot that tastes great. That's a myth. The sooner you accept that hard fact, the better off you will be. For your prize we have, ummmmmm, sorry Ryo, all I've got are a bunch of Phil's carrots. Maybe you can trade 'em for some fries.  |
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Post by Ryosuke on Oct 18, 2006 1:31:26 GMT -5
Nah, I'll just stick them up Phil's rear end so that he'll learn to make better use of his gardening resources in the future. Lotus roots, Phil. Lotus roots.
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Post by Kensterberg on Oct 19, 2006 21:18:04 GMT -5
By popular demand, today's POTD is split between kMc and Sting! In related news: Sting: Today's rock music 'bores me'BERLIN, Germany (Reuters) -- British rock star Sting said contemporary rock music is so stagnant that he prefers to sing 16th-century English ballads. The former teacher who shot to fame as lead singer, bassist and composer in the 1970s and '80s for The Police told German newspaper Die Zeit that he prefers singing songs of Elizabethan lutenist and composer John Dowland to the rock music of today. "Rock music has come to a standstill, it's not going forward anymore, it only bores me," Die Zeit quoted Sting as saying. The 55-year-old singer, whose birth name is Gordon Sumner, had a string of hits with The Police with songs like "Roxanne" and "Don't Stand So Close To Me." He has since also had a lucrative solo career with songs like "Englishman in New York." He recently appeared on NBC's "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip," playing a version of his "Fields of Gold" on the lute. "Forty years ago it was my dream to break out of Newcastle and never be poor again," he told the magazine. "I'm very privileged. I'm a successful musician, live in a beautiful house, and have a wonderful family." Kenny, you get lute lessons from der Stingmeister, if you can get him to teach a young rocker like yourself. You know, you'll probably bore him. But maybe he'll teach you how to play the sixteenth century version of Roxanne.  |
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