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Post by Ryosuke on Jul 21, 2006 3:17:06 GMT -5
I nominate this for POTD: You know what I like? Karma. That shit rules. For instance: My friend Matt dated this girl last year, we call her Skankface. She was a right cow to him, just a general bitch & hated me on sight. I have a lot of male friends, I'm used to their girlfriends not trusting me at first but mostly they realise I'm not out to bed their men. Skankface especially shouldn't have worried because I dated Matt ages ago & I don't go back for seconds. Anyway. She was mean to me all the time, really nasty but eventually they broke up. The other day I was taking a neuropsych patient back to her ward when I came across Skankface in the same ward, a patient herself. She was sitting there waiting for her doctor. Topless. Because her breast implants had solidified! Its gross & I wouldn't wish any ailment on anyone but really, this shit is gold. Lumpy breast implants. Oh man. That bitch told me they were real. Liar. And just to top it off, I sneaked a peek at her chart & saw she also has syphilis. Ahaha. Who even has that anymore? Gold. Be nice to people or maybe your tits will harden & lump up too. An important lesson. |
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Post by Kensterberg on Jul 21, 2006 9:14:54 GMT -5
I'm posting the whole thing (b/c it's such a great story) but really, the last line alone is enough to make this a POTD. (Thanks Ryo! makes my "job" a lot easier when people bring things like this to my attention). You know what I like? Karma. That shit rules. For instance: My friend Matt dated this girl last year, we call her Skankface. She was a right cow to him, just a general bitch & hated me on sight. I have a lot of male friends, I'm used to their girlfriends not trusting me at first but mostly they realise I'm not out to bed their men. Skankface especially shouldn't have worried because I dated Matt ages ago & I don't go back for seconds. Anyway. She was mean to me all the time, really nasty but eventually they broke up. The other day I was taking a neuropsych patient back to her ward when I came across Skankface in the same ward, a patient herself. She was sitting there waiting for her doctor. Topless. Because her breast implants had solidified! Its gross & I wouldn't wish any ailment on anyone but really, this shit is gold. Lumpy breast implants. Oh man. That bitch told me they were real. Liar. And just to top it off, I sneaked a peek at her chart & saw she also has syphilis. Ahaha. Who even has that anymore? Gold. Be nice to people or maybe your tits will harden & lump up too. An important lesson. Layla, I think that karma has given you your own reward here ... enjoy it! |
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Post by RocDoc on Jul 21, 2006 19:11:14 GMT -5
That's not just a POTD...more a POTYear...
'Ahaha. Who even has that anymore? Gold.'
LMAO!
Congrats Layla.
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Post by Kensterberg on Jul 25, 2006 19:04:05 GMT -5
Once again, since I've been too busy/lazy to post any POTDs the last couple of days ... here's another insta-classic from Layla, today's POTD: There was a band that used to play around Melbourne called Hey Sailor also. I may or may not have made out with their singer & thus forced them to be 25 mins late to their own gig. Anyway, they broke up after 7 weeks. Have you ever come up with an awesome name for a band & then someone has stolen it? When I'm drunk I think up the coolest names & always some indie fuck is loitering around & goes "wow, thats a cool name. Say, are you in a band?...No? Any plans to form a band?...No? Excellent...yoink!" And then they steal it. Fucking indie fucks. Congrats Layla. Next time you see an indie fuck, feel free to kick him in the nuts before he steals your band name.  |
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Post by limitdeditionlayla on Jul 25, 2006 19:18:12 GMT -5
Neither post was really that good. Are you doing this because I had my hand on your ass? I thought so. Its a winner move, every time.
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Post by limitdeditionlayla on Jul 25, 2006 19:18:32 GMT -5
but cheers |
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Post by Kensterberg on Jul 25, 2006 19:28:59 GMT -5
I'd missed this earlier ... but this has to be one of the most unique retorts I've heard on CE in quite a while ... definitely made me (and others) LOL. Go write a comic book or something. You're dealing with real people here. So there ya go RocDoc, a POTD to call your own. Of course, we're all out of Rileybucks today, but maybe you can score some refreshments over in the awards show while we wait for the Dog to come up with another episode ... hopefully before school's back in session! |
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Post by riley on Jul 26, 2006 6:35:59 GMT -5
You know Holzman, there would be more cash for quicker award show episode production if you would stop pissing it away on your posts of the day. My fucking working capital is lagging, due largely to the free flow of cash prizes over here.
Knock it off and go write a comic book.
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Post by Ryosuke on Jul 26, 2006 19:26:09 GMT -5
Solving the cash problem would be easy: corporate sponsors.
Maybe we could start calling it the Kraft POTD or something. The POTD winner gets a year's worth supply of macaroni & cheese in addition to the normal prizes.
The awards show would be called the Rileydog Microsoft Awards Show.
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Post by RocDoc on Jul 26, 2006 23:29:13 GMT -5
Yer missing the context of the 'hilarious' Kenny, Mantis and Shin 2-sentence CE 'slapdowns' but..cool, rileybucks is rileybucks.
I mean I can at least buy Canadian beer with these, can't I?
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Post by Galactus on Jul 26, 2006 23:52:45 GMT -5
Dude, if you're gonna put umlauts in hilarious to denote how rockin' it is they should go over the "a"...my keyboard won't do it either but the way you've got them they look like quotations. I just wouldn't want any confusion.
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Post by wayved on Jul 27, 2006 0:58:00 GMT -5
the mention of umlauts is just so ROGH (the metal sound-the growl--some people say "whats up?") Some people just go ROGH.....(umlauts over the double o in cool)
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Post by luke on Jul 27, 2006 9:01:53 GMT -5
Solving the cash problem would be easy: corporate sponsors. Maybe we could start calling it the Kraft POTD or something. The POTD winner gets a year's worth supply of macaroni & cheese in addition to the normal prizes. The awards show would be called the Rileydog Microsoft Awards Show. I would write some incredible posts for a year's worth of Kraft Mac & Cheese. |
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Post by tuneschick on Jul 27, 2006 9:26:53 GMT -5
Dude, I actually did win a year's supply of Kraft Dinner my first year of college. It's not as awesome as it sounds.
OK, actually it was for awhile. Then I just started giving the shit away.
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Post by Kensterberg on Jul 27, 2006 9:45:52 GMT -5
Sorry folks, but the first board I looked at this a.m. yields today's POTD ... Dogs rule - people - not so much. There you have it. Congrats Amp. I'll send you some grade-A puppy chow just as soon as I figures out how to get it into an email. |
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