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Post by Kensterberg on Apr 10, 2006 9:27:48 GMT -5
Oh man, Rocky I am so sorry to hear about your dad. Hope he has a full and speedy recovery.
And just make sure that you do/say the things with him that are important to you, b/c you never do know what's gonna happen down the line.
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Post by tuneschick on Apr 10, 2006 9:29:00 GMT -5
Oh - and yeah, I hope this gets your stepmom to change her habits as well. Definitely harder for your dad to do it if she doesn't follow suit.
~
Aww, Phil Jr's in love! That's so cute. Layla, your story about your dad made me laugh - my dad's not a biker, but he can look mean enough that he sure scared the hell out of most of my boyfriends.
I dated this total loser in eleventh grade, when I was 16. He was in twelvth grade but he was almost 19 (that should have been my first clue, I guess.) Orange hair, multiple piercings, army boots - that and the fact that he was dumb as a stump were more than enough reason for my dad to hate him on sight. I'll never forget the day he showed up to pick me up... and my dad answered the door polishing the biggest, meanest-looking butcher knife we owned. (he swore he was just 'doing dishes')
The guy refused to come over after that - and luckily I came to my senses and broke up with him two weeks later!
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Post by rockysigman on Apr 10, 2006 10:27:45 GMT -5
And just make sure that you do/say the things with him that are important to you, b/c you never do know what's gonna happen down the line. Oh yeah. My brother and my dad have had an especially horrible relationship in the last couple years. Last week my brother was in Detroit seeing family before he leaves for the Peace Corp next week, and did go visit my dad and step-mom and they did manage to reach some sort of peace between them. At the time it was important because he didn't want to go overseas for two and a half years with that hanging over him when he came back, but yesterday it all of a sudden became that much more important that they'd made peace with each other. Hopefully dad should still be around when he comes back anyway, but I know that this scare would have been a whole lot worse for my brother if they hadn't talked last week. |
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Post by Kensterberg on Apr 10, 2006 10:34:13 GMT -5
That's cool, Rocky. The one big consolation I had after my dad's stroke (a bit over a year ago) was that I knew that I'd said everything that I needed to say to him a bunch of times already. We were on really good terms (and still are, thinking about it, I've never had any big issues with my dad, or mom for that matter: siblings, that's another story!), so I wasn't hit with "I wish I'd said that ..."
I do wish I'd gotten home a bit more, and taken him to a baseball game a couple more times. But there's always some stuff like that out there ...
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Post by rockkid on Apr 10, 2006 11:00:14 GMT -5
Wishing your dad the best Rocky.
This will indeed be a big “how much she actually loves him test” for her.
My experience watching people………. If she does she’ll do everything she said she would, if not well then she’ll be exposed I guess.
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Post by strat-0 on Apr 10, 2006 20:01:46 GMT -5
That's cool, Rocky. The one big consolation I had after my dad's stroke (a bit over a year ago) was that I knew that I'd said everything that I needed to say to him a bunch of times already. We were on really good terms (and still are, thinking about it, I've never had any big issues with my dad, or mom for that matter: siblings, that's another story!), so I wasn't hit with "I wish I'd said that ..." I do wish I'd gotten home a bit more, and taken him to a baseball game a couple more times. But there's always some stuff like that out there ... I know how you feel, Ken. After my dad was first ill and was in apparent remission, he came and lived with me here for a time, when I lived in an apartment on the south side. It was really great getting to spend that time with him - to talk about many things, to just get drunk together, a chance to pick that smart dude's brain some more... Then, when he was very ill, before he lost his lucidity and before we lost him, we had the chance to talk more. I will never forget him telling me, "You're a good son." He wasn't given to a lot of sentiment. I treasure that time. But I miss him. (Sorry to get maudlin - hey, that time is a long, long ways away for you, Rocky!) |
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Post by poseidon on Apr 10, 2006 20:20:11 GMT -5
Indeed, hoping this will be a good outcome for you Rocky, and it sounds like it will be. But I wouldn't be too hard on stepmom if he either refuses to change or backslides. People are stubborn and it's his life. People seldom quit bad habits for health reasons. I don't know why, but it's true. But some do take the "wakeup call," and maybe he will. Best of luck. A good example: I am HIV + (can hear Melon's God's judgment upon homosexuals now...) and Hep C +. I smoke. I'm either stubborn or stupid. Tried quitting twice, alas... |
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Post by poseidon on Apr 10, 2006 20:21:58 GMT -5
Hope your Dad pulls thru Rocky. Mine died when I was three. Never had the pleasure to know him.
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Post by phil on Apr 10, 2006 21:26:43 GMT -5
Mine died when I was 7 !
Can't say I remember him at all ...
Worked himself to death as far as I can tell !
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Post by poseidon on Apr 10, 2006 22:50:12 GMT -5
You had 7 good years then...gotta rememeber something!!!
Share something personal. I did.
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Post by phil on Apr 10, 2006 23:01:03 GMT -5
Well ! Can't say that I remember much about anything before the age of 4 or 5
but like I said, my father was always working late and on the weekends
so my older sister and I didn't get to spend that much time with him !
I remember he took me with him to his wholesale company building once on a saturday morning
and let me ride a new tricycle in the wharehous while he was working in his office ...
But that was probably because at the time
my mother was pregnant or just had my little sister ...
She was only 6 months old when he died !!
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Post by phil on Apr 10, 2006 23:20:49 GMT -5
Geez ! That got me realize that I don't have that many memories of my childhood ...
Except for the many times I split my head open doing some stupid stunts on my red pedal tractor
or running around full speed without watching where I was going !
They gave my name to the hospital new wing because I helped pay for a large part of it !
But I do remember hiding behind the piano in the recreation hall
at the catholic school my mother send me to after my father's death
because I didn't want to learn to be an altar boy ... !
8 year old and already rebelling against religion ... LoLoLoL !!
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Post by phil on Apr 10, 2006 23:50:51 GMT -5
But I do remember waking up the morning after my father died -
46 y/o - second heart attack - no-filter cigarette smoker -
and finding my mother and my older sister standing at the bottom of the stairs ...
Which did strike me as odd because I was always the first one up in the house ...
She told me that my father had died the night before
and that I should go dressed immediately.
I just said, OK ! and went about my daily routine ... !!
Took two days to register and finaly realize what the hell was happening ...
And during all this time, my father's coffin was on display in the house ...
Can't remember a thing before the night they put him in the hearse !
I'll probably want my own kids to read those posts tomorrow ...
Then I'll tell them I love them very much !!
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Post by phil on Apr 10, 2006 23:57:08 GMT -5
Holy cow ! 2006 marks the 45th anniversary of his death !
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Post by maarts on Apr 11, 2006 5:06:58 GMT -5
My dad will turn 64 next week. Reading your stories just makes me realise every time how much I love him and miss him.
Even though I've said many times how much I loved him I'd be scared as hell to have him get a stroke or a heartattack and not being able to be there to make sure he knows that.
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