BIG Q&A FUN board

[samplestiltskin]

i just heard about the coca-cola santa claus thing a while ago. personally i think that's pretty awesome... props to those sick and clever bastards!

christmas is gonna be pretty rad this year. no family. no presents. no tree. just me and my three neighbor boys left in town to bah humbug our way through many, many boxes of wine. will probably go see the new tim burton just because.

[samplestiltskin]

being serious sucks, i just didn't have the energy to be funny.

1) Was 2007 a good year for you?
Best yet... which isn't saying much I guess.

2) What was your favorite moment of the year?
When I couldn't get off the floor of Petsmart I was laughing so hard at my co-worker making three giant sideways bounds away from the steel shelving he thought was about to come down on him, and the freaked fuckin look on his face... You had to be there.

3) What was your least favorite moment of the year?
Hearing my dad sobbing like a little boy on the phone when his dad died and having to tell him I couldn't come to the funeral because the guy was an asshole.

4) Where were you when 2007 began?
Walking down Broadway away from a shitty club.

5) Who were you with?
Just me.

6) Where will you be when 2007 ends?
Seattle, over the river somewhere.

7) Who will you be with when 2007 ends?
Probably my two neighbor boys.

8) What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
I made a movie.

9) Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
No. I'm perfect already.

10) Did anyone close to you give birth?
My sister.

11) Did anyone close to you die?
My friend Gabriel. Died in surgery. Assholes.

12) Did you travel outside of the US in 2007?
Nope.

13) How many different states did you travel to in 2007?
Four that were my destination. Through more like twenty.

14) What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
um.. a video camera i guess.

15) What date(s) from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
None. My memory is legendarily bad.

16) What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Not much on achieving things.

17) What was your biggest failure?
Or failing.

18) Did you suffer any illness or injury?
Only mental...

19) What was the best thing you bought?
A train ticket to Portland

20) Whose behavior merited celebration?
mine

21) Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
mine

22) Where did most of your money go?
Moving.

23) What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The Smashing Pumpkins. that was dumb.

24) What song will always remind you of 2007?
Electric Six's "Danger! High Voltage"

25) Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? let's see, december 18th was a monday last year... i hadn't quit my office job yet. yes, i am happier on this december 18th than the last one.
ii. thinner or fatter? thinner.
iii. richer or poorer? poorer.

26) What do you wish you'd done more of?
I think I did it all.

27) What do you wish you'd done less of?
I wasted a lot of muffins on the drunk loud bums under my apartment window.

28) How will you be spending Christmas?
Painting my friends' living room, probably!

29) Did you fall in love in 2007?
Hmm... No.

30) If yes, with who?
I almost fell in love with a neighbor. And a friend. I almost fall in love with lots of people.

31) If yes, do they know?
Boys are pretty dumb.

32) Are you still in love with them?
Still almost in love, yeah.

33) You regret it?
Both of them made me a little sad.

34) Did you breakup with anyone in 2007?
It's impossible to break up if you don't get attached in the first place, it's more like brushing the flies off.

35) How many one-night stands?
Technically speaking, two.

36) How many people did you sleep with in 2007?
Four or five.

37) Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I by-pass hate and skip to pity.

38) Did you make any new friends in 2007?
Lots.

39) Who are your favorite new friends?
Dallas, Tyson, Jesska, Steve and Benimal

40) What was your favorite month of 2007?
spring was awesome, as i recall.

41) Did you miss anybody in the past year?
Yeah.

42) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
I know no shame.

43) What was the worst lie someone told you in 2007?
That Portland was a drinking town.

44) Did you treat somebody badly in 2007?
I don't think so.

45) Did somebody treat you badly in 2007?
Not intentionally.

46) What was your proudest moment of 2007?
I learned to spell my name.

47) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2007?
It became a circulated fact that I'd never in my life seen Wayne's World.

48) What was your greatest musical discovery?
A million bands. Great year for musical discoveries.

49) What did you want and get?
Seth.

50) What did you want and not get?
A stupid skinny boy from Cafe Netherworld..

51) What was your favorite new film of this year?
Oh, what was new when I saw it? Last King of Scotland.. Pan's Labyrinth.. No Country For Old Men. I have to vote for the latter.

52) What was your favorite TV program?
i saw a couple episodes of some new cartoon on adult swim about the greatest metal band in the universe, that was pretty funny.

53) What was your favorite record from 2007?
In Rainbows


54) How many concerts did you see in 2007?
i don't even know.

55) Did you have a favorite concert in 2007?
was Gram Rabbit this year?.. terrible memory.

56) Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2007?
Yes.

57) Did you do a lot of drugs in 2007?
Crack-free in 2008.

58) What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 25, ended up sitting on the hood of my car in a deserted park blasting Falco.

59) What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A Snickers.

60) How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
I wouldn't.

61) What kept you sane?
Nothing.

62) Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
um.. jack white i guess. ugly and amazing.

63) How much money did you spend in 2007?
probably about $15K

64) Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007:
You have to be mean to stalkers.

65) What are your plans for 2008?
Pay some more bills, either in Denver or Portland.

66) Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
i can't think deeply enough about that at work, but i consistently wake up with Ween's "Piss Up A Rope" stuck in my head.

[maarts]

66) Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
i can't think deeply enough about that at work, but i consistently wake up with Ween's "Piss Up A Rope" stuck in my head.

LMAO!
So you sleep at work?

[samplestiltskin]

Not exactly but I might as well. On slowwww days I hide behind strategically placed stacks of files and read for hours. I kind of love my job.

[skovrecky]

1) Was 2007 a good year for you?
It had it's ups and downs.....I felt like in a lot of ways though it was mostly a down.

2) What was your favorite moment of the year?
Hanging out in Venice Beach in LA looking at the freaks and hearing the drum circle.

3) What was your least favorite moment of the year?
The one where I had to move out of my living arrangement with my girlfriend because our relationship was horrible.

4) Where were you when 2007 began?
Reading Harry Potter. I don't due New Year's Eve parties due to Austin being a huge drunk driving mecca. I've had 2 friends killed by the bastards. It's too much of a risk anymore.

5) Who were you with?
Dumbledore

6) Where will you be when 2007 ends?
In my living room jamming some Polvo

7) Who will you be with when 2007 ends?
Snape

8) What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
Spend more than one day in San Francisco

9) Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
No.

10) Did anyone close to you give birth?
No.

11) Did anyone close to you die?
Yes.

12) Did you travel outside of the US in 2007?
No.

13) How many different states did you travel to in 2007?
About 12.

14) What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
To have my records reviewed in Pitchfork

15) What date(s) from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I think I'm going to wipe the slate clean on this year.

16) What was your biggest achievement of the year?
This year was a great year for all of my music projects.

17) What was your biggest failure?
I can't think of any.

18) Did you suffer any illness or injury?
Depression.

19) What was the best thing you bought?
Plane tickets to LA.

20) Whose behavior merited celebration?
My own.

21) Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My own.

22) Where did most of your money go?
Records and books.

23) What did you get really, really, really excited about?
New TG record.

24) What song will always remind you of 2007?
LCD Soundsystem "All of My Friends"

25) Compared to this time last year, are you:
happier, thinner, and weirder

26) What do you wish you'd done more of?
Travel.

27) What do you wish you'd done less of?
Work.

28) How will you be spending Christmas?
With my records.

29) Did you fall in love in 2007?
Everyday.

30) If yes, with who?
None of ya business.

31) If yes, do they know?
Yes, they know the question is though, do I care?

32) Are you still in love with them?
Sometimes.

33) You regret it?
No.

34) Did you breakup with anyone in 2007?
Yes....

35) How many one-night stands?
None

36) How many people did you sleep with in 2007?
My hand.

37) Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Yes, the entire human race.

38) Did you make any new friends in 2007?
Lots.

39) Who are your favorite new friends?
Chris, Dan, Melanie, Leslie

40) What was your favorite month of 2007?
October

41) Did you miss anybody in the past year?
Yeah.

42) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
I know no shame.

43) What was the worst lie someone told you in 2007?
That Austin was getting cooler.

44) Did you treat somebody badly in 2007?
Of course, I'm a mean bastard.

45) Did somebody treat you badly in 2007?
Not intentionally.

46) What was your proudest moment of 2007?
I got reviewed in England on a website that loved my music.
My narcissism is now complete.

47) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2007?
Didn't have one.

48) What was your greatest musical discovery?
A million bands. Great year for musical discoveries.

49) What did you want and get?
Everything.

50) What did you want and not get?
A house in Silverlake.

51) What was your favorite new film of this year?
No Country For Old Men

52) What was your favorite TV program?
i saw a couple episodes of some new cartoon on adult swim Ghost Hunters

53) What was your favorite record from 2007?
Sounds of Silver


54) How many concerts did you see in 2007?
Alot.

55) Did you have a favorite concert in 2007?
Yes, Sonic Youth.

56) Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2007?
Not really.

57) Did you do a lot of drugs in 2007?
Never.

58) What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 30 and drank some whiskey.

59) What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Friendship.

60) How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
I wouldn't.

61) What kept you sane?
Nothing.

62) Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Ack...none of them.

63) How much money did you spend in 2007?
I have no idea.

64) Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007:
Kill yourself.

65) What are your plans for 2008?
Keep on keeping on with the same old insane schedule.

66) Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
That's how it starts.....we go back to your house.

[samplestiltskin]

You didn't hate the human species this time last year?..

[skovrecky]

No, for some reason I was trying out positive thinking. What a waste of time that was.

[maarts]

Seems to me you need to break away, skvor.

Depression is a bad thing. But if your fondest memory of the year is that of a drum circle on the beach, it means you can enjoy life too.

I guess I get a little angsty when people write things like 'kill yourself' as a valuable life lesson on a questionnaire but I do tend to get a bit like that myself sometimes, so I'm not sure if that's a sentiment that pervades all through your life or the moment you filled out the q&a but hey, man, you're cool in my book.

Let's just hope 2008 may bring more positives for you.

BTW I don't practise positive thinking. It's just the way I am.

[skovrecky]

LOL, thanks dude. I understand.

No, I actually don't advocate suicide, I just have a dark humor streak.

2008 is going to be a great year actually. I'm getting close to reaching some sort of deal to getting my music out more and I got a job at the University of Texas here in Austin. So...so far, 2008 is looking goddamn good.

2007 was a tough year for me. I went through way more shit and changes than I'd care to reflect on. It was a really weird year.

[samplestiltskin]

I went to a pre-try-out roller derby practice today. And I thought of you, JAC. Because three quarters of the women out there in roller skates and fishnet stockings looked like your pizza parlor encounter lady.


A Little Survey I Like To Call "Assfuckery",
or "100 Chances At A Smart-Ass Reply"


1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
I don't have doors on my closet. Wait, is this a metaphor?

2. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
And the Bibles.

3. Have you ever stolen a street sign?
Yea verily, and I also found out they are a pain in the ass to actually own.

4. Have you ever 'done it' in a hotel room before?
If by 'done it' you mean piss on the carpet and make soggy carpet art... no.

5. Do you like to use post-it notes?
They make great wallpaper.

6. Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
No, but there are quite a few dried out tongues in my wallet I keep meaning to use.

7. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?
A swarm of bears, please.

8. What was the last thing you shaved?
My balls.

9. Last movie you saw in theaters?
Theaters, plural?

10. What is your biggest pet peeve?
I am peeved at almost every given moment of the day. It's so hard to choose my favorite peeve. Back cleavage... Blues Traveler.. clingy people... people who ask "What do you do?" when they want to know how you make money... people who clean up pretty graffiti... people who have loud, banal and unridiculous cell phone conversations on the bus... people in general.

11. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
Sheets tucked out, penis tucked in.

12. Do you count your steps when you walk?
No but I have a pole-matching compulsion. If the number of poles on one side of the street doesn't match the other side and I can't even them out I go a little nuts. Much tooth-grinding.

13. Have you ever peed in the woods?
I've peed just about every place I can think of.

14. Do you ever dance even if there's no music playing?
I take every opportunity to do the Safety Dance.

15. Do you chew your pens and pencils?
That's what straws are for.

16. How many people have you slept with this week?
People?

17. How many pairs of tennis/athletic shoes do you own?
I rent.

18. What is your "Song of the week"?
Bad Streets, by missing persons.

19. Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
Without it they are useless.

20. Do you still watch cartoons?
I love them so much I end up licking the television screen.

21. What’s your least favorite movie?
I promptly forget all the shitty ones. It's like they never existed.

22. Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
What what? In the butt.

23. What do you drink with dinner?
Milk of Magnesia.

24. What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
Ronald McDonald's blood.

25. What is your favorite food/cuisine?
Pho 4-Ever!

26. What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
Clerks, Dead Man, Royal Tenenbaums, Rocky VII.

27. Who do you miss right now?
Someone else's mother.

28. Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
No but my sister and I went door to door selling homemade sachets with cross-stitched fish on them to all the blind old ladies in the neighborhood, claiming we were, in fact, Girl Scouts working towards a trip to Disney Land. Hey, home-schooled kids miss out on a lot, we deserved every social security check we plundered.

29. Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
I already masturbated on film for an art student's final project, I think I've done enough for my species.

30. When is the last time you wrote to someone in a letter?
I write a lot of letters, but I never write to anyone in them.

31. Can you change the oil on a car?
(((((Christopher said "Almost".... what the fuck does "almost" mean??))))))

32. Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
Probably one for every one of my 25 years on this planet.

33. Ran out of gas?
Nope.

34. Favorite kind of sandwich?:
Mustard and sriracha.

35. Best thing for breakfast?
Leftover mediterranean food.

36. What is your usual bedtime?
I turn my brain off at 6am every morning.

37. Are you lazy?
Enthusiastically so.

38. When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for halloween?
I went as a sixth grader once. In sixth grade.

39. Can you eat with chopsticks?
Also deliver babies and remove slivers.

40. How many languages can you speak?
about 98% of one and 9% of another -- about 1.07 languages.

41. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
Apparently my grandma has subscribed me to Reader's Digest. At least she stopped with the Guideposts.

42. Which are better legos or lincoln logs?
Legos. I just don't like the sound of Lincoln Logs.

43. Are you stubborn?
Fuck you.

44. Who is better...Leno or Letterman?
Which is which?

45. Ever watch soap operas?
Mexican soap operas make me super duper happy.

46. Afraid of heights?
Love them.

47. Sing in the car?
And on the bus.

48. Dance in the shower?
That's dangerous.

49. Dance in the car?
I watched my friend do the Mashed Potato in the passenger seat once while we were driving through Kansas. Couldn't stop laughing for like 30 miles. You definitely had to be there. Don't go to Kansas though. It's not worth it.

50. Ever used a gun?
Ever pissed me off?

51. What's the last thing you cooked?
Grape Nuts.

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?
Cheese is good.

53. Is Christmas stressful?
Not when you have a gun.

54. Ever eat a pierogie?
Not to my knowledge.

5. Favorite type of fruit pie?
Used to eat cherry pie filling out of the can as a kid.

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
A queen.

7. Do you believe in ghosts?
I don't really believe in anything, or NOT believe in anything. Except Christians. I don't believe in Christians.

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
Since I already did this survey once, well... yes.

59. Take a vitamin daily?
Rectally.

60. Wear slippers?
And a matching bathrobe, yes.

61. Wear a bath robe?
It's quite fetching.

62. What do you wear to bed?
Swaddling cloth.

63. First concert?
some shitty local band in kansas i'm sure.

64. Wal-Mart, Target or K-Mart?
Big Lots.

65. Nike or Adidas?
Gun.

66.Cheetos Or Fritos?
Nasty!

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
Rectally.

68. Ever hear of, "gorp"?
That's like, the official sound of Portland, isn't it?

69. Ever take dance lessons?
I remember trying to booty dance to goth music when I first left Kansas. I wish someone had filmed it.

70. Is there a profession you picture your spouse doing?
Not existing?

71. Can you curl your tongue?
Not really. I can curl a mean lip tho.
Curl is a really weird word actually.
Curl. Curl!!!!!

72. Ever won a spelling bee?
Probably.

73. Where do you work?
In an artificial life-simulating environment.

74. Own any record albums?
Three 7-inches.

75. Own a record player?
I think my roommate is giving me one!!!!!!!

76. Regularly burn incense?
Fuckin right.

77. What color do you wear the most?
Nothing in particular.. I am like a charred rainbow I suppose.

78. Who would you like to see in concert?
Radiohead. Wesley Willis.

79. What was the last concert you saw?
Dax Riggs. Man I need to see more shows.

80.Hot tea or cold tea?
Room temperature, administered anally.

81.Tea or coffee?
Both.

82.Favorite kind of cookie?
The kind that makes people behave.

83.Can you swim well?
I heard a teenage girl on the lightrail a couple nights ago telling her friends she has no idea how to swim. Wtf.

84.Can you hold your breath w/o manually holding your nose?
Wtf...

85. Are you patient?
WTF!!!!!!!

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?
Hoedown style with washboards and spoons. And then a gun. Then all the jello shots for me and my gun.

87.Ever won a contest?
My mother was Robitussin's Mother of the Year in 1996, due to an essay I wrote about how much I love Robitussin.

88. ever have plastic surgery?
I have an aesthetically enhanced plastic brain, it's very sexy.

89. Which are better black or green olives?
Green with gin and vermouth.

90.Can you knit or crochet?
Do you see me wearing legwarmers? That's right bitch. I can't knit and my legs are constantly chilled. I hate myself.

91. Best room for a fireplace?
The gimp closet.

92. Do you want to get married?
Is that a proposal?

93. If married, how long have you been married?
Duty duty duty duty dutyyyyy.

94. Who was your HS crush?
I didn't do that HS thing.

95. Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?
With a gun for extra emphasis.

96. Do you have kids?
See above

97. Do you want kids?
They make a nice light lunch.

98. What're your favorite colors?
Whatever the tv ads subliminally tell me to like.

99. Do you miss anyone right now?
We already went through this.

100. Who do you wanna see right now?
Green olives and gin.

[JACkory]

1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
Closed, always. Haven't you heard of the CLOSET MONSTER?

2. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
No. I paid good money for that motel room. I'm not leaving with anything less that the TV.

3. Have you ever stolen a street sign?
One night., wanting to adorn all of my walls with those trendy decorative street signs, I stole all if the STOP signs on what turned out to be a busy intersection in Nichols Hills. I will burn in hell for my deed and it's consequences.

4. Have you ever 'done it' in a hotel room before?
No, I have never made my own bed in a motel room before.

5. Do you like to use post-it notes?
Only when I run out of toilet paper.

6. Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
No, I cut out photographs from the obituaries, put 'em in my wallet and then I go around town lying, fishing for sympathy.

7. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?
It doesn't matter...a big teddy bear or a swarm of spelling bees, it's all the same to me.

8. What was the last thing you shaved?
My tongue.

9. Last movie you saw in theaters?
The last movie I saw actually did play "in theaters" before being released on DVD. I didn't, however, see it in a theater, but from the relative comfort of my broken down sofa. It was "Bug" and I thank God I didn't pay the "theater price" to see this worthless piece of crap. Truly, it was one of the dumbest things I've ever seen.

10. What is your biggest pet peeve?
People who point and laugh at me, telling their kids that, if they ever grow up to be like me, they'll never amount to anything.

11. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
Sheets?

12. Do you count your steps when you walk?
Only until I reach 1,000,000, then I ask myself why I'm counting my steps and come to the conclusion that I'm a obsessive-compulsive.

13. Have you ever peed in the woods?
Does the fireplace count?

14. Do you ever dance even if there's no music playing?
You betcha. I do, however, look like a fool when doing it.

15. Do you chew your pens and pencils?
No, but I do like to munch on Magic Markers. The smell will get you high, you know.

16. How many people have you slept with this week?
72. I've been busy.

17. How many pairs of tennis/athletic shoes do you own?
2 and a half.

18. What is your "Song of the week"?
anything by Porter Wagoner.

19. Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
I hope so. I'll have to give my wife's panties back to her if it's not..

20. Do you still watch cartoons?
Hell no. I learned long ago that animals can't talk. How gullible do you think I am?

21. What’s your least favorite movie?
There's no way I could dig deep enough into the cesspool of crappy movies I've seen to drag out the one that might be my "least favorite movie".

22. Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
In Barnes and Nobles' bank account.

23. What do you drink with dinner?
Bacon drippings.

24. What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
A hungry dog's mouth.

25. What is your favorite food/cuisine?
The edible kind. Preferably tasty as well.

26. What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
Seriously, I rarely watch a movie more than once, maybe twice. There are exceptions. One of them being "Scooby Doo on Monster Hill"

27. Who do you miss right now?
The guy I once saw in a mirror aboiut 13 years ago.

28. Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
I was a boy scout until I lost my Bear pin, then I said "fuck it".

29. Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
Again, you mean?

30. When is the last time you wrote to someone in a letter?
I write letters all the time. I never send them, thougn.

31. Can you change the oil on a car?
Yeah. I turn it into wine. But the car doesn't run on the stuff, so it's a miracle I rarely perform.

32. Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
Yes, and I used it to get into the Policeman's Ball. There's no admittance without a ticket, you know.

33. Ran out of gas?
No...flatulence has always been a problem.

34. Favorite kind of sandwich?:
Lard.

35. Best thing for breakfast?
I can't even remember the last time I ate breakfast.

36. What is your usual bedtime?
My ritual...in bed by 10:00, lights out and headphones pumping music into my head at abouit 11:00, passing out somewhere between 11:30-12:00. Wild life, baby.

37. Are you lazy?
Me New Year's resolution was to be more of a slob and spend each day in a haze of laziness. So far, so good.

38. When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for halloween?
I don't remember...I'm sure it was something that didn't require an expensive costume.

39. Can you eat with chopsticks?
As long as the food is something I can stab.

40. How many languages can you speak?
Does Pig Latin count? It does? Olay...one.

41. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
At last, a question I don't mind answering without all the smart-ass hoop-de-dooo. The only magazine subscription I have right now is to ARTnews. I couldn't afford to renew my subscription to Esquire, so that one's stopped coming, even though I liked getting it. I may re-new it when things turn around, at which point I will probably subscribe to several more, including ArtForum, Art In America, Paste, Mojo (although I'm not sure about that one...it's a great magazine but boy, O boy is it high dollar), maybe one of the science fiction pulps (Isaac Asimov's Science Fiction Magazine, Analog or The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction...probably that last one if it's still in publication)...we'll just have to see when the time comes...I don't want to go overboard, but I do like magazines a lot.

42. Which are better legos or lincoln logs?
Lincoln Logs burn a lot easier, and give off a pleasing woody odor, while the legos really smell bad as they melt.

43. Are you stubborn?
I have been told that I am as stubborn as a mule. I'm not exactly sure what that means.

44. Who is better...Leno or Letterman?
In what way? In bed? On the golf course? In a medieval jousting bout? In a spelling bee? The question is too vague for me to hazzard an answer.

45. Ever watch soap operas?
I have enough trouble keeping up with all the intricacies of my own life...why would I want to keep up with the story lines of soap operas?

46. Afraid of heights?
Only the ones that are over 10 feet.

47. Sing in the car?
Not anymore. My stereo's busted. Now I just talk to myself and scream insults at other motorists.

48. Dance in the shower?
I don't know if you'd call it a "dance"...

49. Dance in the car?
Ha ha..

50. Ever used a gun?
Yes. They are the best way to kill another human being.

51. What's the last thing you cooked?
I suppose microwaving counts? I cooked one of those delicious Hungry Man pork barbeque TV dinners. It was much better than I thought it would be. I made the decision that I would buy many more of them in the future.

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?
They are. Extremely cheesy. But I don't resent them for it anymore, and who knows but that I'll acquire a taste for them soon.

53. Is Christmas stressful?
Not for me. I stay home alone. Stress free, that's how I like it.

54. Ever eat a pierogie?
I may have. Tell me what a pierogie is and I'll let you know.

5. Favorite type of fruit pie?
Pies are for losers.
Just kidding.

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
Mick Jagger.

7. Do you believe in ghosts?
No. Anyone who would want to come back here after they die is a fool.

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
All the time.

59. Take a vitamin daily?
Once every 6 months. It doesn't seem to be doing any good.

60. Wear slippers?
On my ears.

61. Wear a bath robe?
In the shower.

62. What do you wear to bed?
Armani suit.

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
All the time.

63. First concert?
Do I have to tell? I do? Oh, Lord am I emberassed. It was the little River Band with Jay Ferguson opening. I am so ashamed. Really.

64. Wal-Mart, Target or K-Mart?
Dollar General.

65. Nike or Adidas?
Cheap-ass Wal-Mart brand.

66.Cheetos Or Fritos?
A healthy, satisfying mix of the two.

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
Sunflower seeds are the more interactive nut. I gotta go with them.

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
All the time.

68. Ever hear of, "gorp"?
Should I have?

69. Ever take dance lessons?
I had a babysitter once, when I was very young, who taught me how to do the Horizontal Bop. It was the only dance lesson I've ever needed or wanted.

70. Is there a profession you picture your spouse doing?
Gang Boss.

71. Can you curl your tongue?
No, but I bet I could curl YOURS. !

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
All the time.

72. Ever won a spelling bee?
It's old news...I would have won but I felt sorry for the other guy and tossed it to him. No lie..

73. Where do you work?
Cyberspace Massage Parlor.

74. Own any record albums?
I have a Daniel Amos promotional disc and a copy of the Beatles' "Hey Jude" on vinyl. Down to 2 from at least 1,000 I had before the advent of CD technology..

75. Own a record player?
If I owned a record player I would most likely have more than 2 records. Probably. Maybe not.

76. Regularly burn incense?
Only when there is the chance that it will rub upo against flammable drapes or curtains and set the house on fire. It's even better when it's somebody else's house.

77. What color do you wear the most?
Caucasion.

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
All the time.

78. Who would you like to see in concert?
I only want to see Sigur Ros. Maybe Mark Kozelek if he came through town, but I would drive across a few state lines to see Sigur Ros again.

79. What was the last concert you saw?
Sigur Ros.

80.Hot tea or cold tea?
Tea is for losers.
Just kidding.

81.Tea or coffee?
A gallon jug of coffee will do the trick every time.

82.Favorite kind of cookie?
The kind that makes me forget I'm afraid of heights.

83.Can you swim well?
For short periods of time.

84.Can you hold your breath w/o manually holding your nose?
Huh?

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
All the time.

85. Are you patient?
No...I haven't been in the hospital in a long time.

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?
DJ. That way you only have to beat up one guy when he insists on being paid.

87.Ever won a contest?
Yes. MySpace held a contest to see who was the oldest bozo to fill out so many of these questionairres in the span of a year. I won the grand prize: free membership to the MySpace website.

88. ever have plastic surgery?
Plastic forks and knives.

89. Which are better black or green olives?
It depends on what you eat them on. Black olives are best on pizza. Green olives are better on ice cream.

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
All the time.

90.Can you knit or crochet?
No, I have more enjoyable, productive methods of killing time.
...Okay, maybe not "productive".
I could use a new sweater.

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
All the time.

91. Best room for a fireplace?
The coldest one..

92. Do you want to get married?
Yes...I'm thinking of hooking up with the Mormons so I can get-r-done.

93. If married, how long have you been married?
Long enough to have forgotten what it was like to be single.

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
All the time.

94. Who was your HS crush?
I better not say. The wife may be reading this and the mention of her name, quite rightfully, causes her to become sullen and violent.

95. Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?
Sort of. I cry and throw a fit, but I still don't get my way. Then I cry and throw a fit some more. I like the fit throwing better than the crying. But I imagine the crying is more therapeutic.

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
All the time.

96. Do you have kids?
Yes. I have raised goats since the early '80s and at this point I have about 30 kids.

97. Do you want kids?
No. 30 is enough.

98. What're your favorite colors?
Yes.

99. Do you miss anyone right now?
Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? (see #27)

100. Who do you wanna see right now?
Frodo.

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
No.

[JACkory]

Q. What is your salad dressing of choice?
A: Pizza Hut Ranch...but that's the only ranch I like. If I'm not at Pizza Hut I'll settle for Italian.

Q. What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
A: I guess I'll say Sonic because it's the only one in town and those Java Chillers are killer good.

Q. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
A: Probably Rudolpho's mexican in Cushing.


Q. On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
A: It all depends upon the service. I wouldn't want to try and average it out.


Q. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
A: Pizza

Q. What are your pizza toppings of choice?
A: Italian sausage, pepperoni, black olive, green pepper, lots of cheese and extra sauce, pretty much your typical Supreme minus the mushrooms.


Q. What do you like to put on your toast?
A: Butter and grape jelly

Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer?
A: Right now it's the front page photo logo from my blog "The Time Killer". My screen saver is photographs of Sigur Ros.

Q. How many televisions are in your house?
A: 3

BIOLOGY

Q. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
A: right

Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
A: Like ticks, you mean?

Q. What is the last heavy item you lifted?
A: A set of stereo speakers I was retiring...it's not so much that they were actually too heavy, but hoisting them on top of the dead refrigerator in the garage (their new home) was back breaking.

Q. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
A: No, actually.

BULLSHITOLOGY

Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
A: Hell no. I wouldn't be able to sleep at all the night before.

Q. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
A: Bill Gates

Q. What color do you think looks best on you?
A: I just can't seem to make ANY color work for me.

Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
A: A bug or two, though I imagine in some countries they are considered quite the edible delicacy.

Q. Have you ever saved someone's life?
A: When I was a kid I got my dad out of bed soon after a bad extension cord started a fire beneath it. So maybe. I was pretty young though, so it may have been a dream.

Q. Has someone ever saved yours?
A: I think so. This developmentally disabled guy I worked for got my attention just as a car was about to run into me.

CASHOLOGY

Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
A: Under a few conditions. The guy cannot be a candidate for uglyperson.com. He cannot have cracked, bleeding lips. He must agree to leave and never come back after the kiss (kisses, if the offer is a Benji per kiss). He must also understand that he will not be experiencing the joys of my tongue and that if he attempts to demonstrate the joys of his own tongue I will personally cut it out of his mouth. The transaction will take place in the presence of only three people...myself, the guy I'm gonna have to kiss, and the guy who's paying the piper. Two if the guy who wants my kisses so bad is the same guy who is shelling out the dough. In other words: NO ONE ELSE MUST KNOW. If this stipulation, a paramount one, is breached I will have the right to terminate the existance of all parties involved (myself excluded). And finally, if someone else offers me considerably more money for the same favor, I will laugh at your paltry hundred dollar bill. However, the new client must be aware that all the conditions placed upon the original transaction will remain in place with no significant deviations.

Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
A: Hell, no. I worked too hard mastering the D chord (and it's countless variations) to take anything less than $200,001 for one of 'em.
Just kidding. It would take at least a couple million...It's not as if I play the guitar much these days, but 200 grand is chump change.

Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000?
A: I think I could restrain my creative impulses for that amout. Especially in light of the fact that you can count the number of people who read it on one hand (and MY hand at that).

Q. Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
A: Depends on the magazine, I guess. The last time I posed nude it was for some Car & Driver type affair, and I'll never do that again. Christianity Today, perhaps.
JUST KIDDING, FOLKS!!! (It's only a magazine, folks...it's not as if I were going to portray pre-Fall Adam in the new Rod Parsley Illustrated Seed Faith Promise Keeper Worship Study Bible [annotated by internationally recognized Bible scholars including Benny Hinn, Morris Cerullo, John Hagee, Paula White, Creflo Dollar, Paul Crouch plus many more]. I was asked to do it by Parsley's people but it offended my tender sensibilities. They begged me to be a part of the project, so eventually I wound up accepting the role of one of the lepers Jesus heals. The photo shoot is next week and they tell me the time spent with the make-up artists will be the toughest part of the job, but at least I won't have to be naked. I will, however, reconsider depending on who they find to play Eve).

Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
A: Funeral costs are much higher than that, so no.

Q. Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
A: Why don't you make that same offer to our military personel in Iraq? They don't have the luxury of the choice. And they deserve more than that for being ordered to do just that when, under any other circumstances, their answer to the question would be the same as mine: no.

DUMBOLOGY

Q: What is in your left pocket?
A: Nothing. Not even lint.

Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
A: I thought it was going to be the worst movie ever made, but I laughed my ass off when I saw it. It even made me laugh a couple of times after that when I saw bits and pieces of it on TV. So, yeah, it's a good movie.

Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
A: Shitty carpet.

Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
A: it's much more hygienic to stand when you're pissing in the shower. And if you sit, how are you going to get your ass cheeks really clean? (Ha!n Betcha never thought of that, did ya?)

Q: Could you live with roommates?
A: Probably not. unless they were rich, generous, female, extremely attractive and clinically diagnosed as sex addicts with no boyfriends.

Q: How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
A. One. It gets the job done.

Q: Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
A: It was a few months ago. Meeker cop says I didn't completely come to a halt at the town's one and only 4-way stop. I tend to doubt his assessment, as he was right there in plain view...I'm sure I saw him, so why wouldn't I stop? I'm just as paranoid of cops as the next guy. But, alas, he did pull me over. I got off with less than a warning, for some inexplicable reason. I think he was probably looking for drugs. I guess it's a good thing for me that he didn't ask to look in my left sock.
Just kidding?

Q: What do you want to be when you grow up?
A: A spirit rider.

Lastology

Q: Last Friend you talked to?
A: I talked to Aubrey via IM Messenger just an hour ago.

Q: Last person who called you?
A: My wife.

Q: Last Person you hugged?
A: My motto is "Drugs, not hugs".

FAVORITOLOGY

Q: Number?
A: The last one.

Q: Season?
A: The season of the witch.


CURRENTOLOGY

Q: Missing someone?
A: I can't say that I am, actually. Does that mean there's something wrong with me?

Q: Mood?
A. Pre-anxiety contentment.

Q: Listening to?
A: What else? Sigur Ros. Right now it's the "()" album but just before it I was listening to a CD of various downloads I got from their website. I need to check back there and see if there are any new ones.

Q: watching?
A: Letters appear on a screen in tandem with my fingers pressing buttons with corresponding letters printed on them.

Q: Worrying about?
A: I admit it...I'm a tad worried about our dog. He's been pretty sickly the last couple of days...and this is EXACTLY why I swore I'd never have another pet before we got him. Not that it was my choice...but you know how you get attached to the cute bastards.

RANDOMOLOGY

Q: First place you went this morning?
A: The bathroom.

Q: What can you not wait to do?
A: Spend my money when I get it.

Q: What's the last movie you saw?
A: "Rush Hour 3"...I fell asleep halfway into it, which means either it wasn't much of a movie or that I was a lot more tired than I thought I was when I began watching it. I hate Chris Tucker, though.

Q: Do you smile often?
A. Only when I'm alone.

Q: Are you a friendly person?
A: I'm not "un-friendly". I'm just not really in the market for new friends just now.

[phil]

Q. What is your salad dressing of choice?
A: Homemade ... basic ingredients involves Balsamic vinegar,
best olive oil I can afford, garlic and herbs ...

Q. What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
A: "CHEZ BOLDUC" ... Mom & Pop local restaurant

Q. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
A: Too many to say ... Last one I went is a THAI family resto
that opened in Ste-Anne last year ...


Q. On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
A: 20 % ... I know too many people who worked in restos
to leave less.


Q. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
A: Chicken Club Sandwich

Q. What are your pizza toppings of choice?
A: Tomato sauce, goat cheese, fresh basil leave, roasted red bell pepper


Q. What do you like to put on your toast?
A: Orange marmelade and cheddar cheese

Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer?
A: Jules the dog

Q. How many televisions are in your house?
A: 2 but the 20 y/o one in the basement just klunked out!
there goes another 400 bucks in the very near future !

BIOLOGY

Q. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
A: right but I swing from the left in basebal
and also shoot from the left in hockey

Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
A: Like the inside of my right ear ... ?
My appendic ... ? Wisdom teeth ... ?

Q. What is the last heavy item you lifted?
A: Better-Half ... ??

Q. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
A: No, but I did try my best numerous times !

BULLSHITOLOGY

Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
A: Nahhh !

Q. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
A: Tiimu Sellane ...

Q. What color do you think looks best on you?
A: Grey!

Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
A: I guess ...

Q. Have you ever saved someone's life?
A: By knocking some sense into them ... ? A few !!

Q. Has someone ever saved yours?
A: I almost drowned trying to swim to shore from a raft!
someone helped me. I was probably 11 or 12 at the time.

CASHOLOGY

Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
A: Under a few conditions. The guy cannot be a candidate for uglyperson.com. He cannot have cracked, bleeding lips. He must agree to leave and never come back after the kiss (kisses, if the offer is a Benji per kiss). He must also understand that he will not be experiencing the joys of my tongue and that if he attempts to demonstrate the joys of his own tongue I will personally cut it out of his mouth. The transaction will take place in the presence of only three people...myself, the guy I'm gonna have to kiss, and the guy who's paying the piper. Two if the guy who wants my kisses so bad is the same guy who is shelling out the dough. In other words: NO ONE ELSE MUST KNOW. If this stipulation, a paramount one, is breached I will have the right to terminate the existance of all parties involved (myself excluded). And finally, if someone else offers me considerably more money for the same favor, I will laugh at your paltry hundred dollar bill. However, the new client must be aware that all the conditions placed upon the original transaction will remain in place with no significant deviations.

Why not ! ;D

Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
A: I would give it serious consideration ... Probably yes
cause I could then built my house in the wood right now !

Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000?
A: Of course !

Q. Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
A: Depends on the magazine, I guess. The last time I posed nude it was for some Car & Driver type affair, and I'll never do that again. Christianity Today, perhaps.
JUST KIDDING, FOLKS!!! (It's only a magazine, folks...it's not as if I were going to portray pre-Fall Adam in the new Rod Parsley Illustrated Seed Faith Promise Keeper Worship Study Bible [annotated by internationally recognized Bible scholars including Benny Hinn, Morris Cerullo, John Hagee, Paula White, Creflo Dollar, Paul Crouch plus many more]. I was asked to do it by Parsley's people but it offended my tender sensibilities. They begged me to be a part of the project, so eventually I wound up accepting the role of one of the lepers Jesus heals. The photo shoot is next week and they tell me the time spent with the make-up artists will be the toughest part of the job, but at least I won't have to be naked. I will, however, reconsider depending on who they find to play Eve).

Anytime!

Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
A: No!

Q. Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
A: No!

DUMBOLOGY

Q: What is in your left pocket?
A: A 2.00$ coin, one 5 cents coin, one penny ...

Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
A: I wouldn't know ...

Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
A: Hard wood and vinyl ...

Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
A: Sitting in a shower ??

Q: Could you live with roommates?
A: I did for a few years ... Not anymore except
for one or two people I know ...

Q: How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
A. Zero

Q: Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
A: 30 some years ago ! It was fun !

Q: What do you want to be when you grow up?
A: An ermit !

Lastology

Q: Last Friend you talked to?
A: Ludwig !

Q: Last person who called you?
A: Better-Half

Q: Last Person you hugged?
A: Better-Half

FAVORITOLOGY

Q: Number?
A: Number nine ... Number Nine... Number Nine ...

Q: Season?
A: What Jac said !


CURRENTOLOGY

Q: Missing someone?
A: Not actualy ...

Q: Mood?
A. Tired!

Q: Listening to?
A: Frank Zappa

Q: watching?
A: A man walking his dog ...

Q: Worrying about?
A: Second Son's choice of friends ...

RANDOMOLOGY

Q: First place you went this morning?
A: The bathroom.

Q: What can you not wait to do?
A: I can outwait anything and anyone ...

Q: What's the last movie you saw?
A: "Shogun on TV !

Q: Do you smile often?
A. Only when I'm with some people

Q: Are you a friendly person?
A: Takes a while to make contact ...

[maarts]

Luca Brasi...LOL!

[skovrecky]

Q. What is your salad dressing of choice?
A: Annie's Goddess Dressing

Q. What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
A: In and Out Burger

Q. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
A: StarSeeds, this total diner in Austin.


Q. On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
A: 20 to 30 percent

Q. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
A: Pho

Q. What are your pizza toppings of choice?
A: Tomato sauce, cheese, Red Pepper, Jalopenos

Q. What do you like to put on your toast?
A: Butter, Peanut Putter, Jelly

Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer?
A: New York in flames.

Q. How many televisions are in your house?
A: 0

BIOLOGY

Q. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
A: Both

Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
A: My Soul

Q. What is the last heavy item you lifted?
A: Metal

Q. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
A: Once....it's a long story.

BULLSHITOLOGY

Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
A: No.

Q. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
A: God

Q. What color do you think looks best on you?
A: Blue

Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
A: Yes.

Q. Have you ever saved someone's life?
A: No.

Q. Has someone ever saved yours?
A: No.
CASHOLOGY

Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
A: Yep.


Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
A: No!

Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000?
A: Yep.

Q. Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
A: Yes

Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
A: I did it for 20 bucks once.

Q. Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
A: No!

DUMBOLOGY

Q: What is in your left pocket?
A: Lint

Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
A: It's an okay movie.

Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
A: Hard wood

Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
A: Stand

Q: Could you live with roommates?
A: Yes

Q: How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
A. Zero

Q: Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
A: Can't remember....seriously.

Q: What do you want to be when you grow up?
A: Learn to become Invisible!

Lastology

Q: Last Friend you talked to?
A: Bill

Q: Last person who called you?
A: Dad

Q: Last Person you hugged?
A: A Ghost

FAVORITOLOGY

Q: Number?
A: 666

Q: Season?
A: Summer


CURRENTOLOGY

Q: Missing someone?
A: No

Q: Mood?
A. Blah.

Q: Listening to?
A: Alex Jones

Q: watching?
A: Nothing

Q: Worrying about?
A: Nothing

RANDOMOLOGY

Q: First place you went this morning?
A: The bathroom.

Q: What can you not wait to do?
A: Nothing comes to mind...

Q: What's the last movie you saw?
A: "There Will Be Blood"

Q: Do you smile often?
A. No.
Q: Are you a friendly person?
A: Slowly.