maarts' newsagency

[maarts]

Police: Man Had Sex With Picnic Table
Anonymous Tip Led Police To Arrest


BELLEVUE, Ohio -- Police said an Ohio man has been arrested for allegedly having sex with a picnic table.

Police arrested Arthur Price Jr. after an anonymous tipster dropped off three DVDs that reportedly showed Price in the act.

According to NBC Toledo, Ohio, affiliate WNWO-TV, the videos show Price tilting the metal round picnic table on its side and then laying up against it to have sexual intercourse with the table. Afterward, he can then be seen cleaning the table and the deck.

During questioning, he reportedly admitted to having sex with the table. Police said he also admitted to bringing the table inside his home for sex.

Price faces four counts of public indecency. He was freed after posting $20,000 bond, authorities said.

The table is reportedly pressing charges.

[Matheus]

That's hot. Is the video on YouTube?

[ScottsyII]

Hey I am all for letting people chose whatever partner they like (we'll see how that changes when some greasy teenager wants to get their hands on any of y two daughters in the future that is to come) But anyways - sex with a piece of folding furniture... ummm, yeah, a0 wouldn't it hurt? b) Whats the attraction? c) what the fuck???!!!

[phil]

C) is the correct answer !

I'm so glad we don't have girls ...

[ScottsyII]

I am literally frozen with fear about the teenage years of my daughters - I black out, I don't wanna think about it.... :-)

[maarts]

Make 'em stay away from stray picnic tables....

[phil]

I think it's pretty safe to say they will have had the *talk*
about the dangers of being promiscuous with those !!

Besides, I'm sure they can outrun them !!

[maarts]

In any case, make sure your picnic table has protection on them.

[phil]

HOLY HUCKIN' SACRED COW!

Baby With 2 Faces Born in North India

By GURINDER OSAN – 32 minutes ago

SAINI SUNPURA, India (AP) — A baby with two faces was born in a northern Indian village, where she is doing well and is being worshipped as the reincarnation of a Hindu goddess, her father said Tuesday.



The baby, Lali, apparently has an extremely rare condition known as craniofacial duplication, where a single head has two faces. Except for her ears, all of Lali's facial features are duplicated — she has two noses, two pairs of lips and two pairs of eyes.

"My daughter is fine — like any other child," said Vinod Singh, 23, a poor farm worker.

Lali has caused a sensation in the dusty village of Saini Sunpura, 25 miles east of New Delhi. When she left the hospital, eight hours after a normal delivery on March 11, she was swarmed by villagers, said Sabir Ali, the director of Saifi Hospital.

"She drinks milk from her two mouths and opens and shuts all the four eyes at one time," Ali said.

Rural India is deeply superstitious and the little girl is being hailed as a return of the Hindu goddess of valor, Durga, a fiery deity traditionally depicted with three eyes and many arms.

Up to 100 people have been visiting Lali at her home every day to touch her feet out of respect, offer money and receive blessings, Singh told The Associated Press.

"Lali is God's gift to us," said Jaipal Singh, a member of the local village council. "She has brought fame to our village."

Village chief Daulat Ram said he planned to build a temple to Durga in the village.

"I am writing to the state government to provide money to build the temple and help the parents look after their daughter," Ram said.

Lali's condition is often linked to serious health complications, but the doctor said she was doing well.

"She is leading a normal life with no breathing difficulties," said Ali, adding that he saw no need for surgery.

Lali's parents were married in February 2007. Lali is their first child.

Singh said he took his daughter to a hospital in New Delhi where doctors suggested a CT scan to determine whether her internal organs were normal, but Singh said he felt it was unnecessary.

"I don't feel the need of that at this stage as my daughter is behaving like a normal child, posing no problems," he said.

[ScottsyII]

That is truly bizarre... but you can kinda see their point, medically speaking the kid isn't having any problems, and socially, its not looking like a huge issue, since everyone is worshipping the child... why perform surgery to "normalise" the look of her face...

At first I thought it was one of those pictures which had a strange light filter placed on the camera when it was taken...

[maarts]

Th cracker's in the title:


Masturbating driver fined for speeding
ABC - January 7, 2009, 2:08 pm

A Darwin man has been fined $2,000 for filming himself masturbating while speeding along the Stuart Highway.

The man is already in jail until August after pleading guilty to carrying cannabis in the car boot and two plants on the back seat.

Brenton Alan Erhardt, 39, pleaded guilty in the Darwin Magistrates Court to dangerous driving.

He was pulled over by police on the Stuart Highway in July speeding at 147 kilometres per hour, south of Daly Waters.

He admitted to officers he filmed himself masturbating while driving from Adelaide to Darwin.

He also pleaded guilty to driving unlicensed, carrying two cannabis smoking pipes, administering the drug and carrying a loaded rifle.

Magistrate Sue Oliver says the driving was bizarre to say the least and conduct she expects of someone much younger.

[phil]

How the hell could the guy masturbate... smoke pot... film himself
and keep one hand on the wheel all at the same time

Multi-tasking genius...!!

[maarts]

[maarts]